I doubt you'll find human societies anywhere that are free of violence, alas

my point is that they don't suffer from this neurosis that associates the view of certain body parts with sexual threats. imposing this neurosis is another kind of violence, and it brings about opportunities for predators to exert further violence, because it removes reasonable safety choices from potential victims, and, for the predators, it turns views and situations that could and should be absolutely unremarkable into ones that feel exciting and could bring about sexual arousal.

so you see my solution is far from shared locker rooms, which you appear to be fixated on for some good and some misguided reasons, but about untangling nudity from sexual activity, to make everywhere and everyone safer and healthier. that's not the society I live in either, alas.

I still recall a traumatic episode in which I took my then ~4yo daughter to a shopping mall to buy a mothers' day surprise to her mother = my wife. she needed to go to the restroom. what was I to do? get her into the men's restroom was thought to be unacceptable, she had to go into the women's restroom, but I couldn't go there with her. she ended up getting help from another kind lady who found her all by herself in there and offered help, but what if it was an unkind lady? all this followed from these stupid notions that seeing certain body parts can be traumatic (it doesn't have to be this way, it's learned misbehavior) and that therefore there must be segregation. there are strong notes of patriarchy in this sick structure, both in separation of potential victims from the flock, and in the assumption that the mother will always be available to take care of the children. nowadays, shopping malls often offer so-called family restroom facilities, and I feel very favorable to them, and I resent the psychological violence that was forced on me and on my daughter in that episode.

CC: @light@noc.social @quasi@peister.org @Gnomeshatecheese@spinster.xyz