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@baralheia sadly I can’t offer solid help.

My main thought: in that situation many doctors would likely diagnose burnout and my health insurance may actually pay for rehab.

Which means: this is as serious and real as a broken leg. And there are professional help options.

And no shame in taking them. Even if there’s no health insurance that puts down the money to prove it.

Regardless of that thought (which may completely miss the mark):

I wish you strength, whatever path you choose.