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@mekkaokereke I always tell people who go on about "different times" that it's ok, I'll judge them by my grandpa, who was born in 1921, a white working class man. They inevitably fail.
I also told my father in law that he had a choice: using the n-word or be my guest, but never both. Imagine, he has been able to behavie himself ever since. Racist old relatives only dominate the conversation if the others let them.