@TimeSpent @Jean_Philippe_Micheaux Look do what works for you to get through things we all have ways of coping with this stuff mein is destructive and unhealthy so I can't really advise you what to do but I will try a little. What I'm saying though is if you bury this side of yourself you're losing something of yourself and one day it will return and you will get overwhelmed by it. I would go into things further but it would be weird just know that eventually it will resurface and it all will hit you at once and it's hard to get under control again. Better to try and ease it out over time.