Embed Notice

@Humpleupagus @Dudebro @Xenophon @tyler @Jewpacabra @Will2Power @sapphire if you have any authority at all, it's best to apply it as a "more-in-sorrow-than-in-anger", "I-have-to-do-this" bureaucratic manner that reflects their own; done right, this can achieve relativistic backpedal velocity, because the one thing that terrifies any bureaucratic parasite is the idea that the machine god they worship may turn its terrible attention to them at the behest of a sorceror's apprentice who knows the Words of Power to focus that attention

in your particular case, given that you're a lolyer and therefore an officer of the court, I have the feeling it might have been hilarious and convincing to argue that you have to bring cases of extortion like that to the attention of the relevant authorities:

"Well, Mr. Hump, I'm afraid that I may need to report you to Children's Services for attempting to leave like this"

"Oooo, I really wish you hadn't said that"

[Nurse Ratched smirks in Cunt] "Oh really, why's that?"

"Because as an attorney, that means I am now obligated by my status as an officer of the court of <State> and the ethical canons of the bar to report this to competent authority as an attempted extortion, a criminal offense which your statement meets all of the criteria for - I'm so so sorry about this, you seem like a decent person, but I'm afraid I need to speak to the legal department here, the charge nurse, the supervising MD here, the highest-ranking executive you have on-call right now, oh, and I'll need you to call the police so I can file a statement.... oh, and we'll need a legal hold on everything relating to my wife's and child's care here, and can you get me a list of the names of everyone on duty right now in this wing? I'm so sorry about this"

(side note: the IT folks at the hospital HATE HATE HATE having to keep shit on legal hold, because it lasts for a long time and fucks up backup rotations, eating tons of storage space; getting your coworkers tied up with bullshit from Legal is also a great way to be hated for a long time by people that are working right next to you on your shift)