@jepyang it's perhaps a little old fashioned by modern standards, but when I ran a queer group (15 years ago now) our inclusion of "allies" was doing a lot of work running cover for closeted friends, heteroflexible and nonbinary folks who weren't comfortable claiming queer identities, and a surprising number of people who'd only later acknowledge that they were questioning.
But the "don't bring your partner" discourse in particular needs to fuck right off.