People tend to return to their behaviors, so starting anew is tough.

One thing to consider is whether you're part of the cycle or facilitating its oscillation. I'm not victim blaming. Just being real.

While rare, every once in a while, I get dragged into some domestic matter for a client because he's either already a client on a business matter and I'm the guy he trusts, or some other big client wants me to take care of his good friend.

One thing I always notice in those situations is the way both parties will make things worse by engaging in short term, dopamine seeking behavior. It's often a furious series of phone calls, emails, or text messages.

When I see it, I use what air of authority I have to shut it down real quick. I smack clients around to make them better.

Often, the other party will then escalate, because they expect a certain response to their behavior. When they don't get it, the ratchet it up. I have to keep the client stoic through this period until the behavior burns out.

Tl:Dr if you're not changed, he's likely not going to change. Some behavior of yours could be a catalyst or a trigger. I'm not saying that's the case, but it has to be considered.

On the otherhand, changing your behavior can result in temporary aberrations as the system reaches a new equilibrium.