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@Tooden @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Yep.

I'm now in my 40s, and for the last few years I've worked with specialists (a pain clinic) that also includes a psychiatrist (they're a cross-discipline team, working with both physial and mental drs and therapists), and we went from "oh, maybe Mel can work 50% ... okay, maybe Mel can work 25%? ... well, it doesn't look like Mel can work at all" and I've literally needed therapy to accept that. Once I did accept it I *did* get into a better headspace ("only" need to figure out money now >.<) ... but I haven't talked much about this to parts of my family. And I got confirmation of why a couple of months ago: My oldest sister stating that she hoped that the unemployment agency (who wrote a certificate that we've tried everything, I can't do it) didn't do it "just because you've given up". And also was quick to claim that the difference between me and my (decently successful siblings) is that I've "always had an easier time giving up".

Which ... Hurt a lot. And while they 100% have worked for what they have, don't get me wrong ... I have *tried*. I have tried so hard that I almost worked myself into an early grave. So, to get the "lazy" thing thrown into my face was ... not fun.

(the note from the agency includes "Mel is very loyal, ambitious and wants to work, but we have gotten to the conclusion that no matter how much they want to, they can't")