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@liztai @toolsontech and if anyone has never seen or experienced that a) that's good and b) I feel bad for them if they ever do, because if it hits you out of nowhere it's terrifying to realize "I'd either acquiesce or lose everything" and that social pressure is *valid* and leads to harm as well as harmony

But yeah it's like, I kind of find that "ideally there's only collectives and affinity groups, and fit in with your friends or else" ideal a bit problematic as a result