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   Elizabeth Tai | 戴秀铃 🇲🇾 (liztai@hachyderm.io)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 12:20:21 JST Elizabeth Tai | 戴秀铃 🇲🇾

   I was cancelled before the word even became a thing. It definitely changes you in a big way. For one, you realise the world is not black & white, and you see the irritational reactions of those who hold deep ideological beliefs when you decide to leave/change it. It's very much tribal. And you also get more empathatic to both sides of an ideology because you were once one of them. You also end up very allergic to triablism & tribal attitudes of all kind.

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     Elizabeth Tai | 戴秀铃 🇲🇾 (liztai@hachyderm.io)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 15:20:53 JST Elizabeth Tai | 戴秀铃 🇲🇾

     in reply to

     • Bas (Tools on Tech) :verified:

     @toolsontech yup yup. Ideologically homeless almost everywhere 😆

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     Bas (Tools on Tech) :verified: (toolsontech@pkm.social)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 15:20:54 JST Bas (Tools on Tech) :verified:

     in reply to

     @liztai Do you also find it hard to join a new group/tribe now? Never cancelled, but did experience the attitude when your ideas start to divert from the group.

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     Elizabeth Tai | 戴秀铃 🇲🇾 (liztai@hachyderm.io)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 15:44:07 JST Elizabeth Tai | 戴秀铃 🇲🇾

     in reply to

     • Bas (Tools on Tech) :verified:
     • mybarkingdogs

     @mybarkingdogs Honestly wish life was that simple where we can slot people into convenient beliefs, but playing that game is exhausting.

     @toolsontech

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     mybarkingdogs (mybarkingdogs@freeradical.zone)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 15:44:09 JST mybarkingdogs

     in reply to

     • Bas (Tools on Tech) :verified:

     @liztai @toolsontech and if anyone has never seen or experienced that a) that's good and b) I feel bad for them if they ever do, because if it hits you out of nowhere it's terrifying to realize "I'd either acquiesce or lose everything" and that social pressure is *valid* and leads to harm as well as harmony

     But yeah it's like, I kind of find that "ideally there's only collectives and affinity groups, and fit in with your friends or else" ideal a bit problematic as a result

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     mybarkingdogs (mybarkingdogs@freeradical.zone)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 15:44:11 JST mybarkingdogs

     in reply to

     • Bas (Tools on Tech) :verified:

     @liztai @toolsontech Yeah, while not speaking from a "cancellation," this is one thing that makes me *very* nervous about ideologies/concepts that are heavily dependent on the "affinity group" or "everyone must fit in."

     Someone *won't,* often, for good reasons (they're a whistleblower on abuse/corruption/wrongdoing), for neutral reasons (some people just do NOT like each other and can't be forced to override that) just as easily as bad ones, and groups can stretch to make one of those a bad one

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     Elizabeth Tai | 戴秀铃 🇲🇾 (liztai@hachyderm.io)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 16:20:43 JST Elizabeth Tai | 戴秀铃 🇲🇾

     in reply to

     • Bas (Tools on Tech) :verified:
     • mybarkingdogs

     @mybarkingdogs Hehe what you said about church communities - my first experience of being cancelled was by my ex-church, who cut me off after I dared to criticised a pastor. I would have "friends" literally walk away when they saw me. The second time I got cancelled was when I opposed the Iraqi war, and American Christians proclaimed that I no longer exist to them. And I thought Christians were supposed to oppose war or something!

     @toolsontech

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     mybarkingdogs (mybarkingdogs@freeradical.zone)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 16:20:44 JST mybarkingdogs

     in reply to

     • Bas (Tools on Tech) :verified:

     @liztai @toolsontech Agreed that it is!

     (e.g. people who romanticize Small Towns/church communities or the concept of all social needs being met from one's local friends/family/affinity group

     often are people who've never experienced that for real, or who were favored and got the warm embrace of community rather than the boot to lick or get kicked

     -and I can be pretty sharptongued and toxic sometimes so I get that's hypocritical-)