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@Rasp I love the idea of a benevolent Sappho Fairy just flitting from place to place, finding all of the gay girls who aren't dating even though they should be and setting them straight (as in gay).

“You there, the two young ladies with the undercuts and the matching necklaces with each other's names on them, you've basically been dating for 8 mooooooonths,” the fairy calls as she is summoned to tell a lumberjack when the barista gives her a free muffin it's flirting.