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@lirazel
I don't think that's toxic.

Everyone involved in a conversation is responsible for their own part of it.

You do a good job of positioning your questions as coming from a place of curiosity and being in good faith.

But also we're all familiar with bad-faith actors who are just sea-lioning*

* https://wondermark.com/c/1062/

It can be hard to tell the difference between genuine curiosity and sea-lioning, especially if it's a tender subject and bad-faith actors abound.