@lirazel
I don't think that's toxic.
Everyone involved in a conversation is responsible for their own part of it.
You do a good job of positioning your questions as coming from a place of curiosity and being in good faith.
But also we're all familiar with bad-faith actors who are just sea-lioning*
* https://wondermark.com/c/1062/
It can be hard to tell the difference between genuine curiosity and sea-lioning, especially if it's a tender subject and bad-faith actors abound.