@WashedOutGundamPilot @MeBigbrain @chainsaw_appreciator @justnormalkorean I try to mimic a lot of executive management techniques when dealing with my kids. If they are fucking up, I first let them know "hey did you mean to do that thing there?" and then as it goes on, and they aren't self-reflecting I escalate to "this is what I need from you as a member of this family, we all have a role to play, and I expect this minimum from you as a result." As long as I follow up with "I think you can do that, and ideally, you can do this other much more impressive thing", it tends to be received ... "OK".

The major thing is that you can't just hold it in and explode on them, that just proves their own opinions about how you are the unreasonable and stupid parent who doles out love based on their whims. You have to be willing to draw that line and stick to it.

Most parents do not understand that the world is not even remotely the same as it was when they were growing up. The rate of change is insane, and children need that sage parental voice and firm hand in this gay as fuck world, with the knowledge that "yes, I am not a kid, and I don't know exactly what you are going through, but I know a lot, and I will be there for you no matter what". The lack of that creates a vacuum of power which is quickly filled by their peers, and that is a recipe for failure.