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@MeBigbrain @chainsaw_appreciator @justnormalkorean I get to talk with a lot of older guys over a late night after work beer. They spill their guts while we're sitting on some airBNB couch, telling me all the things they never tell their own kids. It hurts to hear, an older man worried that his son doesn't care about him, a man who probably fucked up plenty, but tried to work his ass off and make life better for his kids, as he tries to unload some of his regrets and worries.

I know some guys bristle at this thing but I'll reiterate that you ought to at least have a deep, intimate conversation with your parents once every few years. I know a fren who got disowned by his family, because they thought he was an underperformer, lazy, enjoying a dead-end life. His dad apologized to him, hat in hand, and confessed that he'd felt awful about doing it every day since. He just thought it would be the kick in the pants the guy needed to get his ass in gear and snap out of his vidya+porn+pills fugue state (IDK if he's into them but he WAS underperforming in his career track)

They gave him a blank check, said "You're my son and I love you, the happiest day of my entire life was when they put your tiny little body into my arms. I'll do anything I can to make sure you have a good life".

That guy thought his dad didn't like him at all, thought he was a pain in the ass, that the other kids in the family had taken the crown of being the favorite already. He was totally wrong, from the sound of it. I'd even told that story here when I was talking about how screwed up the boomers are, because estranging your son for such a small thing is so retarded it begs for scorn. But they made up, it was a mistake, and like every fight, nobody ever shares the part where they make up and repair the relationship.

aaaahhhhhh......maybe I'm hearing too many of these lately, it's getting to me. Everyone I talk to I understand. The majority of these things really sound like the fault is shared between us and our parents, I know my own frayed-at-times relationship has been too. I keep softening up on my own dad's silly boomerisms. He's trying his best with what he got in life. I'm not going to begrudge him for not being ideologically nimble enough to reorient his entire life in the span of a few years. He's my dad, as long as we're on the same team in life he'll agree with me one day.