@theauracle Yeah, it is a spectrum not a binary. And I did think of the generational trauma as I was typing but ran out of room. I know form my white straight upbringing that I have inherent racism and sexism as kinda default settings in my mind-body. I have to work to overcome them all the time. It is personal work and tiring as you say. I have gay and trans kids and friends who have helped educate me. Thing is I lived for a LONG time outside the US, whites are racist everywhere I've been