@yakkoj OH YEAH all four outlets AND the switches were back-stabbed. Fuck back-stabbing. Thankfully they were still pretty tight but I screwed the wires down REALLY TIGHT on the new ones.
One outlet might have been slightly dangerous, the hot and neutral slots had green around them from corrosion. Luckily nothing high-current was plugged in there but I might want to use a space heater some day!