@eris @Arcana @Moon @ciel An example I’ve seen:

Camper A at camp is gay and autistic. Camper B has been mocking him for being gay.

Campers A and B have an encounter. A makes some sexual jokes and gestures—this is corroborated by all. Camper A did not touch Camper B—this is also corroborated by all involved.

B accuses A of sexual assault.

Now, A didn’t even touch B, and these jokes are common with boys that age. But A did make sexual comments and gestures, so the camp decides it’s sexual harassment, and A is kicked out.

If a straight kid, especially one who’s neurotypical and understands boundaries and comfort levels better than kid A, made these same jokes, it would’ve been fine.

But here’s the kicker—B really was shaken. He dealt with discomfort and pain equivalent to other sexual harassment. Can we deny that because it came from a source of homophobia, or because A didn’t intend it? B was really hurt.

In this case, models of aggressor/victim break down. One would have to either say that A is a predator simply for making jokes that straight NT kids could make, or that B wasn’t actually hurt or affected by what happened. But neither of those are true.

(As a camp counsellor at the time, this whole event really shook me and I’m still a bit fucked up over it over a year later)