@seanwithwords You described me. ^_^ Glad to know it isn't contradictory, sometimes I wonder why I am that way.
Small crowd is fine. If it gets bigger, it's so draining, and eventually confusing. But if it's 1-on-1, it's scary and awkward, especially when it comes to small talks, unless we're that close.
It's similar to, "I don't want to be touched yet I like it when someone hugs me tight".