@WashedOutGundamPilot @monsterislandcolonizer @nierenstein
It's not just that, but at no point in my life have I been worthy of a girlfriend. My life has just been one big downward spiral. I've never been in shape, I've never been sociable, and I've never been diligent in any of my endeavors. Even back in high school my autism was completely in control and I was a reclusive mess, orbiting around a friend group while not really connecting with any of them but doing nothing with anybody at any point if I didn't run into them by chance. And I had zero clue how to handle my crushes. In fact if I didn't develop the tendency to just not do something that I was SURE wouldn't embarrass me (something I developed from acting out constantly in elementary school) I probably would have straight up stalked a girl; and I'm pretty sure another girl got the idea that I was trying to stalk her.