@Jain @lanodan @Moon
I don't know if being fine with it is the right word. Sometimes I would love nothing more than to go back to the days when there were only a few instances and the main drama was about whether the law allowed loli where an instance was based and how to best handle that. We didn't need a blocklist then.

I understand where you are coming from with the framing. I felt it with the twitter user blocklist that I mentioned and it really sucked when that attitude came to the fediverse. You didn't even know if you could talk to someone on another instance while welcoming them. I had to live through the early days when this attitude was adopted through mastodon, the tools weren't great. It created a lot of bad vibes in general and it isn't how I would like my experience here. But that can't be undone now.

I think the main thing which has helped me is that we are still here despite the framing, there are still other instances that federate with us and that may have had framing happen to them too. I don't think we are going to stop the framing, but we can decide whether we listen to it and who we communicate with on fedi. I do think it is worth having discussions with each other about these things and perhaps putting something down in writing to refer back to when situations happen. When people slander you, it does help to have other people have your back too. Word of mouth and closer communication with each other works best where possible, providing it doesn't have the same pressure/vibe that the blocklists have. I don't know if that is very helpful to you though.