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@GalacticTurtle @EmmyNoether It’s not so much that I prefer solitude, it’s that I don’t like sharing my space with people. I do like having company, but I want to have it on my own terms. I lived in a block of flats for about a decade and I could almost feel the presence of the neighbours, and I didn’t like it. It’s not that I was avoiding relationships either, I just knew that I’m picky and didn’t think it very likely that someone tolerable enough would come along.
My preferred living arrangement would actually be adjacent houses, or a bigger house divided in two with one half for each, but that’s still not exactly feasible. Back then one of us was going to leave the country and so the options were to split up, or live together. The brain chemicals only came to play in the sense that I didn’t want to split up, they had little to do with the living arrangement itself (that was essentially a question of money). I would still like it if we both had our independent spaces, but that’s not realistic. Nor is it feasible to live without any neighbours within about two kilometres, which I would like even better.

I just expect we’ll all abide by the overall rules and expectations set by the house

Well yes, that’s the rub. I don’t want to live by rules set by anyone else in my own home. And I don’t want to have to compromise with others in my own home. Now, I realise that living with one other person does include some compromises, and I’m not exactly a fan of that, but at least with just one person it’s mostly manageable. Plus since that person is a romantic partner, I’m more motivated to manage that, than I would be with flatmates or friends.

Also it’s not a question of expecting to get along with everyone else swimmingly, it’s a question of not wanting them around. As in at all. Like preferring to live without any neighbours even. Again, it’s not that I don’t like company, but I want to have company on my own terms, and that’s not possible in a communal living arrangement.