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@fesshole The "scruffy artist" look and the "man in the throes of grief" look are two very different looks/vibes/affects. I say this as a woman artist who also finds scruffy artists attractive and whose husband lost both of his parents within the space of <2 months.

Fessor might want to ponder just what it is inside themselves that made their husband's outward expression of inner pain attractive to them.