Conversation

Notices

1. Embed this notice
   Bena Turner (thebreadmonkey@beige.party)'s status on Monday, 08-Jun-2026 03:17:09 JST Bena Turner

   Imagine if you saw a ghost. Like just out of the blue one day - welp, the spirit world is real apparently. Supernatural forces exist in the world. Probably means there's also werewolves and probably some kind of afterlife with a system for measuring worthiness. Everything I thought is now wrong. Better stop masturbating now I know mum is watching. Gonna have to be nice to people now. Fucks sake. Clear our schedule, I'm committing all of my time now to going to church. Work out how to cleanse my filthy soul as much as possible. Find me some orphans. There's work to be done. It would really upend your whole thing.

   • Embed this notice
     Nick (nickiquote@mstdn.social)'s status on Monday, 08-Jun-2026 03:17:04 JST Nick

     in reply to

     @TheBreadmonkey

     “Oh Secretary, just one more thing: Fortinbrass, my wanking equerry, getting a bit old. Touch of the arthritis. Losing his grip, what, quite literallly. Do the decent thing with him.”

   • Embed this notice
     Bena Turner (thebreadmonkey@beige.party)'s status on Monday, 08-Jun-2026 03:17:05 JST Bena Turner

     in reply to

     • Nick

     @Nickiquote

     King Charles has a butler do it for him. It's the most prestigious job on the household staff. Sadly at the end of their career they have to be put down.

     Steve's Place repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     Nick (nickiquote@mstdn.social)'s status on Monday, 08-Jun-2026 03:17:06 JST Nick

     in reply to

     @TheBreadmonkey Alternatively maybe ghosts are really chill about the whole wanking thing because they know that everyone secretly does it, even the late Queen. There was such a ghost queue out the door of Windsor Palace when the Queen bought a new Mills and Boon.

   • Embed this notice
     Nick (nickiquote@mstdn.social)'s status on Monday, 08-Jun-2026 03:17:07 JST Nick

     in reply to

     @TheBreadmonkey If I were a ghost I’d probably not want to spend the afterlife watching my large adult son knocking one out.