Adrianna Tan
RE: https://vozer.cafe/@vozercozer/116439217930751440
There’s an interesting conversation in the comments about John’s fashion sense.
I’m fairly certain that if a Bay Area tech leader showed up in a suit not at their wedding, it would be super weird.
Adrianna Tan
As a person who thinks about fashion zero percent of the time I personally enjoy this lack of interest in fashion and appearance in the Bay Area. I get that it doesn’t work for everyone
I really enjoy never needing to think about clothes or talking about clothes or even considering it at all in any way, even for a second, which is also why maybe the only place I can have a personal career is in the bay area
Maybe related to the ‘tism
Adrianna Tan
Fashion for me is uncomfortably linked with difficult questions I don’t want to think about regarding gender
Any kind of dressing up for me is related to oppressive gender norms
I know I get to present a certain way without being penalized for it, because of my profession and location but I would pick this over having to pretend to give a shit over dresses and skirts and nice women’s clothing any day
When nobody gives a shit because everybody dresses like shit
And it’s not even a topic of discussion ever… it helps me not panic over ‘how to dress as a woman in tech’.
I think people who really like fashion really struggle.
Adrianna Tan
@JessTheUnstill @Viss someone on the east coast recommended me a 5 thousand dollar pair of pants the other day. I didn’t know what to do with that information
Viss
@skinnylatte i always thought nyc finance bro types whod judge people solely on what brand suit they had or the price of their clothing were some of the stupidest motherfuckers alive
Jess👾
@Viss @skinnylatte nah, it's just a nonverbal signal for wealth and status. Same as has been done since for forever.
Adrianna Tan
I went to school with kids who flew to the Paris fashion week in their private jets with their very nicely dressed moms
They were also very surprised that not every girl in our school did this regularly
It was a very confusing time for me About why anyone cared about about clothes
Since then I’ve learned there is value in creating your own relationship with clothes but
I still mostly have deeply negative ones.
Chris Petrilli
@skinnylatte @JessTheUnstill @Viss my instant thought is… Fuji medium format GFX or pants?
Hard call.
Adrianna Tan
Sometimes people say ‘wow you can do so many complicated things!!’ I always joke ‘yeah but I can’t buy pants’
They think I’m joking
But I’m not
How to describe it? Imagine the feeling if you really being scared of doing your taxes and not wanting to get things wrong. You have a debilitating fear. You don’t know where your paperwork is
Like that for me, but with clothing procurement and daily selection. I have a debilitating fear of all of it.
I would rather do taxes
I would rather do everybody’s taxes
Adrianna Tan
Just two weeks ago I ran crying out of a clothes shop in new York and considered just being cold because buying a coat was too much
Adrianna Tan
@BillMcGuire I have autism and gender related phobias of female clothing shops. I wasn’t joking
@BillMcGuire@mastodon.social
too much dough or too much to think about whether it was the right coat?
Luke Kanies
@skinnylatte it’s still relatively new, and still varies a lot. When I was running puppet, more people wore blazers than not at any venture event. And I basically had to for a ton of my work.
I never wore shirts with buttons as a kid, much less blazers or suits, so it was a huge shift and I never felt or looked comfortable.
I still think about clothes way more than I’d like as a result.
Adrianna Tan
@deepmud I can’t
They are too overwhelming for me
Deep Mud
@skinnylatte go to a thrift shop. Seriously!
Reilly Spitzfaden (they/them)
@skinnylatte I very much feel this both in terms of gender and neurodivergence. I have multiples of the exact same couple of T-shirts, and when I'm not required to wear a dress shirt, that's pretty much all I wear.
Sometimes I think I'd like to try something more fancy, but things get very gendered very fast as the formality goes up.
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