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1. Embed this notice
   Hoss Delgado (hoss@shitpost.cloud)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 07:32:28 JST Hoss Delgado
   >be me
   >redpilled /ck/ anon who actually knows how to sear a steak without a $47 Sysco seasoning packet
   >decide it's time to touch grass and go on date #1 with tinder roastie who "loves foodie spots"
   >she picks some "authentic Italian" place with $28 spaghetti and exposed brick walls
   >we sit down, she orders the carbonara like it's a personality
   >waiter drops the plates and i can already smell the Sysco
   >lean in, whisper like it's /pol/
   >"you know we're eating inside the Matrix right now, right?"
   >she laughs, thinks it's a bit
   >wrong
   >i hit her with the redpill: every "fresh" ingredient in this building came off the same Sysco truck that supplies Applebee's and prison kitchens
   >pre-portioned frozen gnocchi, "house-made" marinara that's just reheated bag sauce, even the "imported" parm is powdered Sysco dust
   >she's blinking like a deer in headlights
   >i keep going, full schizo mode
   >"the entire restaurant industry is one big LARP, babe. the chef? he's just a Sysco janitor with a better knife roll. they pay him to pretend he doesn't have 47 identical bags of 'chef's choice' demi-glace in the walk-in"
   >her fork stops halfway to her mouth
   >i'm on a roll now, telling her about the Sysco Matrix™ where the bluepilled cattle pay premium to eat the exact same industrial slop as a hospital cafeteria but with worse lighting and a $14 cocktail that came out of a bag too
   >she starts checking her phone under the table
   >date ends with her "suddenly remembering" she has an early meeting
   >ghosted before i even get the check
   >mfw
   
   >fast forward two weeks
   >new girl, seems cooler, says she "cooks" (her highlight is airfryer nuggets)
   >she suggests sushi
   >i'm already sweating
   >we get there, beautiful omakase counter, $180 a head
   >i last 12 minutes before the dam breaks
   >"you realize the 'wild caught' salmon is Sysco farm-raised garbage injected with dye, right? the rice is probably from a 50lb bag labeled 'sushi rice' that tastes like wet cardboard"
   >start drawing the supply chain on a napkin like it's the JFK assassination board
   >driver → Sysco warehouse → "sous chef" who just thaws and plates → you, paying $22 for a piece of fish that used to be roommates with a McDonald's Filet-O-Fish
   >she's giving me the exact same wide-eyed stare as date #1
   >whispers "are you okay?"
   >i tell her the truth: the only way to escape the Matrix is to cook everything yourself, from scratch, like our ancestors before the Sysco overlords enslaved us with their 40% margins and frozen lobster tails
   >she excuses herself to the bathroom
   >never comes back
   >waiter brings me the bill and a pitying look
   
   >third date
   >i swear i'm not gonna do it this time
   >she picks a "farm to table" spot
   >literally the final boss of Sysco LARPing
   >menu has "local heirloom" everything
   >i hold it together for 45 whole minutes
   >then the waiter says "our chef sources directly from..."
   >brain short circuits
   >i slam my water glass down like it's /ck/ rant hour
   >"BROTHER THEY SOURCE DIRECTLY FROM THE SYSKO TRUCK PARKED BEHIND THE DUMPSTER AT 3AM"
   >start naming SKUs from memory
   >date #3 is now actively backing her chair away from the table
   >i'm full conspiracy autist, telling her how even the "house bread" is Sysco parbaked rolls they just throw in the oven and pretend
   >she leaves mid-sentence
   >sends me a text from the Uber: "you're actually insane please lose my number"
   
   >now i just cook ribeyes at home and eat alone like God intended
   >bluepilled cattle still out there dropping $300 on Sysco slop thinking they're cultured
   >tfw the only thing spooked more than my dates is my tinder match rate
   >stay redpilled, kings
   >never dine inside the Matrix
   
   RT: https://shitpost.cloud/objects/9a2933da-a16d-454b-b7f6-a4f074d3647e
   • Embed this notice
     Hoss Delgado (hoss@shitpost.cloud)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 07:58:31 JST Hoss Delgado

     in reply to

     • captainslow
     >its not a contest. Just try to enjoy yourself. It isn’t inedible.
   • Embed this notice
     captainslow (captainslow@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 07:58:32 JST captainslow

     in reply to
     its not a contest. Just try to enjoy yourself. It isn’t inedible.
   • Embed this notice
     D00B (d00b@clew.lol)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 08:04:51 JST D00B

     in reply to
     @Hoss Family member was an applebees general manager. He gave me a list of all the sysco places. I literally have seen the back of 80% of all the kitchens in the area, it's all sysco all the way down. There's actually 1 or 2 that aren't. I eat there. It's expensive but I don't go out much.
   • Embed this notice
     Hoss Delgado (hoss@shitpost.cloud)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 08:05:46 JST Hoss Delgado

     in reply to

     • Wrath
     • Orkin_Awk
     • Paultron-3030
     Yes.
   • Embed this notice
     Orkin_Awk (orkin_awk@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 08:05:47 JST Orkin_Awk

     in reply to

     • Wrath
     • Paultron-3030
     Why IS that? Is it the job itself or the people it attracts
   • Embed this notice
     Paultron-3030 (paultron@shin.mugicha.club)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 08:05:48 JST Paultron-3030

     in reply to

     • Wrath
     @Eiswald @Hoss well yeah kitchen staff in any semi respectable joint are all substance abusers at minimum
   • Embed this notice
     Wrath (eiswald@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 08:05:50 JST Wrath

     in reply to
     tbf my farm had a farm-to-table deal with a 4 star for several years and I can, as the the owner of my company, personally attest to the fact that I've sent workers with loads of food straight from my local storage on fulfilment runs to those establishments
     
     My only gripe is that those chef niggers are touch and go with paying me in a timely manner and need to be harassed sometimes.
   • Embed this notice
     Rusty Crab (rustycrab@clubcyberia.co)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 08:18:17 JST Rusty Crab

     in reply to
     @Hoss me, a normal guy: greetings foid, would you care to consume syscoslop
   • Embed this notice
     db (db@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 08:35:11 JST db

     in reply to
     theres a particular scent to the cheap cooking oil they sell. i smell it in a lot of kitchens. i don't likd that smell in my food.
   • Embed this notice
     Hoss Delgado (hoss@shitpost.cloud)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 08:48:06 JST Hoss Delgado

     in reply to

     • binkle
     Ask yourself if you want to go down a rabbit hole that might end with Sysco trucks parked outside your house when you learn too much.
   • Embed this notice
     binkle (binkle@clubcyberia.co)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 08:48:07 JST binkle

     in reply to
     @Hoss b-but my favorite restaurant isn't like that..right anon
   • Embed this notice
     Jonny (jonny@annihilation.social)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 12:32:39 JST Jonny

     in reply to

     • Wrath
     • Paultron-3030
     @Hoss @Eiswald @Paultron
     The coke/meth habit is caused by asshole kitchen managers who fuck with the schedule all the time so that nobody can get on a sleep rythm.
     Hoss Delgado likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     Hoss Delgado (hoss@shitpost.cloud)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 12:32:40 JST Hoss Delgado

     in reply to

     • Wrath
     • Paultron-3030
     Can you even run a professional kitchen without at least 20% of the staff having a coke habit?
   • Embed this notice
     HonkHonkBoom (honkhonkboom@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 23:08:07 JST HonkHonkBoom

     in reply to
     Got a chef buddy that's just about there, can peg a Sysco slop house before he's even through the door.. We got at least 3 that use real food in town, but, the one place in town I've found that doesn't use them and i can afford sometimes uses cheap garlic powder , everything else is top notch, maybe i'll bring some good granulated garlic for um next time i go.. ..
     Hoss Delgado likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     Mystic (mammal@shitposter.world)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 23:09:17 JST Mystic

     in reply to

     • captainslow
     @Hoss @captainslow tell me mr anderson, what good is a mouth... if you are no longer able to eat goyslop?
   • Embed this notice
     HonkHonkBoom (honkhonkboom@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 23:14:15 JST HonkHonkBoom

     in reply to

     • binkle
     • Paultron-3030
     Eh, their 'premium' stuff rides down in quality continually from the time sysco acquires them until it's really not much different than the lower tier.. they're kinda like the microsoft of food service..
     Hoss Delgado likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     Paultron-3030 (paultron@shin.mugicha.club)'s status on Friday, 10-Apr-2026 23:14:16 JST Paultron-3030

     in reply to

     • binkle
     @binkle @Hoss sysco has tiers, a lot of em actually
     And if your joint buys the good stuff from Sysco it's p good