Conversation

Notices

1. Embed this notice
   Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 13-Mar-2026 00:39:45 JST Adrianna Tan

   As an autistic femme-presenting person I have had a lifetime of frustration with fashion, and the idea of ‘clothes’. I don’t know why I’m supposed to like them, or care for them. They frustrate me and literally make me cry.

   I’ve decided I don’t want to feel this way about it anymore. So I will pretend that ‘fashion’ is like any other topic I don’t know anything about and am curious to learn more about.

   It helps to no longer be living in places where fashion is super gendered (I also struggle with my ‘gender’).

   Just like I like well made musical instruments and electronic devices, I think I can also like well made fabrics and clothes. This means that most fast fashion is out of the question for me: which is fine, I didn’t like them anyway.

   I feel like I’m on a new adventure and this is the hardest thing I’ll ever do. Harder than starting a company or emigrating. lol

   • Embed this notice
     RealGene ☣️ (realgene@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 13-Mar-2026 00:51:25 JST RealGene ☣️

     in reply to

     @skinnylatte
     Seriously, ask anyone you know for a referral to a Personal Shopper.

     They'll provide you with curated choices that meet the requirements you do have, such as avoiding fabrics you don't like, or no skirts, or whatever.

     You try them at home, not in a fluorescent-lit glorified animal pen.

   • Embed this notice
     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 13-Mar-2026 01:13:11 JST Adrianna Tan

     in reply to

     • That’s a moray

     @Bumblefish yeah, i had a similar conversation about makeup. i asked a friend who is really good at it, and she said she basically thinks of it as drag. that spoke more to it than 'i want to make myself pretty for the male gaze'

   • Embed this notice
     That’s a moray (bumblefish@mastodon.scot)'s status on Friday, 13-Mar-2026 01:13:12 JST That’s a moray

     in reply to

     @skinnylatte Exploring fashion as part if gender non-conforming identities can be really fun and interesting. As a currently femme-presenting gender-fluid person, I always hated fashion too, but once I started to see how trans men and trans women approach fashion, as well as looking at icons like David Bowie or Annie Lennox, I've started to find 'looks' that work better for me. Also, photographed my clothes in different combos so that I can scroll & pick what to wear while eating breakfast.

   • Embed this notice
     Alexandra Magin 🏳️‍🌈 (recursive@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 13-Mar-2026 02:29:37 JST Alexandra Magin 🏳️‍🌈

     in reply to

     @skinnylatte A frustration I find is that beyond casual fashion, things are typically so much more strongly gendered and it's necessary to make a lot of explicit choices about how one is going to differ from the rest of the world

     But also this may be a me problem, because I want even my "lazy" choices to feel deliberate and I have extremely strong feeling about how different pieces of clothing should fit. I think a lot of people out there just regard success with clothes as "did I look like the (very gender-conforming) model in the ad?" or maybe just don't have as much feelings about the whole process as I do