Green Roc Thoughts
I may have multiple sclerosis, but whenever I have a flair up, I'm assumed psychotic and put in mental ward, instead of getting a scan (MRI scan is what my roommates expected last time I had an 'episode', but didn't happen)
We three don't know how to get MS proven or disproven, when medical hospital staff assume phychosis, instead of scanning my brain with the MRI.
I learned when my mom was suffering from MS, the CT scan will not pick up the dark spots, and MRI will.
Miakoda
@GreenRoc Pretty sure its that they dont care
Green Roc Thoughts
Am I having psychotic episodes or MS flair ups?
We dont know.
MS has not been disproven.
Actual psychotic episodes are only proven by observations, and MS flairs can look exactly the same as psychotic episodes.
I watched MS take apart my mom across ten years. What I been feeling reminds me of her experience I witnessed.
To prove/disprove I have MS, has been lost/locked behind doctor privilege and implicit bias. So far, medical staff have dx'd psychosis 3x now, not physical brain defects.
Green Roc Thoughts
I dunno how to get care I need, avoid the wrong kind of care.
I been warned that if I have three mental 'holds' I will be obligated to be put into a group home, wrong care, likely suffer 'psychotic death'.
I worry getting more holds for something that has a history of getting women locked in chains at the beginning of the 20's century, and currently could be proven as actual dark spots in the brain on an MRI.
But, treatment in America, is 41k a month.
I dont wanna die like this.
Green Roc Thoughts
MS is incurable, but is preventable by avoiding stress, but due to the pressures in loving in today's society, the stress was unavoidable no matter how much I tried to avoid all stress, the stress of avoiding what would not stop forcing itself into my life, has likely tipped me over the edge into a slow, avoidable death.
Biggest unavoidable stress: all these barks from dogs around my home I cant avoid.
Secondary is all the paperwork and phone calls society insists upon.
Green Roc Thoughts
Am I really going to blame the dogs?
NO!
no.
BARKS yes.
NO SOUNDPROOFING yes.
Allowing dogs everywhere YES.
No spaces to live for people who need NO DOGS... YES.
It's not the dog.
It's the bark.
REAL service dogs are trained to not bark at random stuff.
Am I blaming, what?
failure to recognize how damaging sudden noises are to autistics.
What do I want society to do?
RECOGNIZE THAT WE ARE SENSITIVE and cant filter out noisy crap bombarding us daily.
Always been the noise that triggers.
Green Roc Thoughts
An MRI scan did happen last year, I recall being told there were black spots detected, but we never got copies of those scans because of the requirement of documents which I cannot do without triggering my PTSD.
So those records are lost somewhere in some place we cant get to. Anyone else will be unable to get those records because HIPAA wont let them.
Green Roc Thoughts
@hellomiakoda Seems so.
Medical dont want to deal with what looks like mental problems.
Almost feels like they take glee in declaring me psychotic.
I wonder if they get paid a bonus for getting me relocated out of their medical wards into mental holds.
Gross neglect, and I wont want to die without being an example of what not to do to people like me.
I dont want my death to mean nothing. I want to be a martyr for proper medical care, if anything.
Miakoda
@GreenRoc We're in the wrong country for that!
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