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   simsa03 (simsa03@gnusocial.jp)'s status on Friday, 02-May-2025 10:54:06 JST simsa03
   Post eye surgeries, it feels like I am developing a depression. No point looking at the world anymore, it's outright awful, with no place to hide. Even candlelight became cold with lens flare style beams. Fucking ophthalmologists. Had they informed me earlier about the effects, I'd kept my cataract! I'm done with looking. Fuck this world.
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     tinydoctor (tinydoctor@mstdn.social)'s status on Sunday, 04-May-2025 21:13:04 JST tinydoctor

     in reply to

     @simsa03 I hope I don't feel about my upcoming knee surgeries (right knee tomorrow morning) as you do about your cataract surgery. Post surgery regrets is still a new thing for me. The retinal "peel" left a permanent kink in vertical lines in my left eye. There was nothing to do but get used to it. You could get sepia tinted glasses... or a blindfold and a white cane, if you're really tired of looking.

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     tinydoctor (tinydoctor@mstdn.social)'s status on Sunday, 04-May-2025 21:24:55 JST tinydoctor

     in reply to

     @simsa03 I was in New Orleans last weekend and took my old knees out for a last walk. I walked, walked, walked, French Quarter, Warehouse District, Garden District, six or seven miles a day, and looked, looked, looked, through my cyborg lens at the gaudy world. Not tired of looking. The daily doomscroll I neglected those days. It's the 2 dozen funerals a day I attend via the iParasite that make me tired. The grief is worse than the knee pain. How do we manage without turning away, closing eyes?

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     simsa03 (simsa03@gnusocial.jp)'s status on Monday, 05-May-2025 02:43:19 JST simsa03

     in reply to

     • tinydoctor
     I wish you luck with the surgery. Knees, like eyes, are delicate things but as your recebt hernia surgery went well, I trust this one will too.
     
     My post surgery regrets stem from one single, avoidable, issue. My health insurance provider covers basic lenses and the procedure. These lenses don't filter well the blue and the UV spectre of the natural light thus, after insertion, rendering everything bluish and expose the retina to more UV light which later can cause retinal damages. Anyway, neither my ophthalmologist nor the doctors in the eye clinic informed me that there are other types of lenses, e.g., those that do filter the bluish and UV spectre. Their disadvantage is that they are not covered by health insurance, so that I would have had to pay extra for them. And as the doctors later told me that, yes, my cheap lenses make the world look like under LED light, I am angry that they didn't tell me prior to the procedure. If they had decribed it to me that way, I could have anticpated the visual impression and rush to ask my family to pool some money.
     
     How the fuck can you act properly when you don't know what you don't know and the specialists don't care telling you?
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     simsa03 (simsa03@gnusocial.jp)'s status on Monday, 05-May-2025 02:49:36 JST simsa03

     in reply to

     • tinydoctor
     "The grief is worse than the knee pain. How do we manage without turning away, closing eyes?"
     
     I guess like in love. We learn to care without looking, otherwise we'd care because of some specific qualities or oddities. We learnt (I guess) that that's something one shouldn't do in love either: to "love" somebody for their qualities. You just do, because it's that person. Same with care: You do, simply because it's that world. We cannot but... The main thing is to dismantle in us what hinders us to let care do its own thing... Or so I think.
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     tinydoctor (tinydoctor@mstdn.social)'s status on Monday, 05-May-2025 02:54:27 JST tinydoctor

     in reply to

     @simsa03 I don't think I got those lenses. Had I known that there were cheaper lenses, I would had advised you to get the upgrade. Frankly, I would have offered to pay for them. I didn't feel like I was fully informed by the doc who did the retinal peel, so I maybe know how you feel. I was pissed. I certainly would not recommend him or his clinic.

     simsa03 likes this.
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     simsa03 (simsa03@gnusocial.jp)'s status on Monday, 05-May-2025 03:03:39 JST simsa03

     in reply to

     • tinydoctor
     @tinydoctor
     Yep. I only learnt about the better, blue spectre filtering lenses afterwards, in a conversation with somebody else. As I learnt from another, astonished person whom I met a few days after my first surgery that I should wear UV-filtering sun glasses. Neither doctor recommened this to me and only after I bought some did I feel some relief.