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   Linux Walt (@lnxw37j1) {3EB165E0-5BB1-45D2-9E7D-93B31821F864} (lnxw37j1@gnusocial.jp)'s status on Wednesday, 26-Mar-2025 04:02:09 JST Linux Walt (@lnxw37j1) {3EB165E0-5BB1-45D2-9E7D-93B31821F864}
   I think I mentioned that Half_son's wife left him last year to join a "throuple". She took the kids with her, so he only gets to see them for a few hours on Sundays . I'm not sure when their divorce is final. He's got a newish long-distance girlfriend and is planning to move to where she lives soon.
   
   Today, Son_1 informed me that he filed for divorce from his wife. In this case, she moved into an apartment and he has the kids (two minor kids they share, one minor kid who got kicked out of her home and is staying there, and her oldest son [now 28 years old] whom she had before he met her). The 26 year old stepson lives separately, and is likely only going to maintain contact with his mother.
   
   They had a strange relationship. They'd almost divorced several years ago but made up ... they did things like work separate shifts so they were hardly ever home and awake at the same time and have two separate "family chat" groups with the kids ... one with her included, one without her.
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     simsa03 (simsa03@gnusocial.jp)'s status on Wednesday, 26-Mar-2025 10:12:35 JST simsa03

     in reply to
     In my experience (two mothers, three fathers, one change of family and adoption) it has rather harmful consequences when parents try to stay together "for the sake of the kids". That rarely works, and it places the child in the position of envoy and mediator which produces its own form of neglect and emotional turmoils thereof. Rather, people should separate responsibly, quickly, and don't treat their children as the reason for inconvenience or cause of the breakdown of the relationship. Thus, separation and divorce I understand. What I do not understand is the time it takes until parents go through with the separation.
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     Linux Walt (@lnxw37j1) {3EB165E0-5BB1-45D2-9E7D-93B31821F864} (lnxw37j1@gnusocial.jp)'s status on Friday, 28-Mar-2025 12:59:06 JST Linux Walt (@lnxw37j1) {3EB165E0-5BB1-45D2-9E7D-93B31821F864}

     in reply to

     • simsa03
     @simsa03 I wouldn't have been surprised if they'd split up more than a decade ago, but there were some things that happened in the next few years that set them up to live apart successfully. Namely, they both got much better jobs and moved to a bigger and better city.
     
     In their earlier situation, they couldn't afford to actually split, because neither could pay rent / utilities / food / transportation alone.
     
     Still, they didn't need to wait this long.