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   CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:05:33 JST CJ Bellwether

   my brain throwing up the question "but why are trans people so into clowns" randomly before i realise i think ive answered that for myself about a hundred times.

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:07:03 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     do trans people make good clowns?
     they dont make good cis clowns, but they make wicked trans clowns - which is better on all levels really.

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:08:54 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     like a trans clown has to recognise that they are outside of society in the way that cis clowns are not. a cis clown can rely on the cis watcher to understand and relate to their inner experience.

     a trans clown does not get this relationship.

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:12:50 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     better than the question of why are trans people so into clowns, is how does the fact that trans people are drawn to clowns instinctively as a survival mechanism influence their relation to clowning, and to their clown identity in a way that cis people who are drawn to clowning are not.

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:13:42 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     • hazelnot :yell:

     @hazelnot no metaphor, real clowns. Clowns are often, a trans thing.

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     hazelnot :yell: (hazelnot@sunbeam.city)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:13:44 JST hazelnot :yell:

     in reply to

     @siege is "clown" here a metaphor for something else or are there hidden depths to circus clowns I never realized existed?

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:19:03 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     • hazelnot :yell:

     @hazelnot for sure, like they are liminal beings with chaotic energy to the degree that it feels like no one can stop them from doing whatever they want.

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     hazelnot :yell: (hazelnot@sunbeam.city)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:19:04 JST hazelnot :yell:

     in reply to

     @siege wild, clowns always kinda weirded me out

     I'm not scared of clowns like how apparently half the population is, but they make me vaguely uncomfortable 💀

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:24:19 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     • hazelnot :yell:

     @hazelnot well, marginalised identities do turn to clowning as a form of expression at the very least. Its often attributed to the origin of being the poorest form of entertainment - ie what you do when you need to entertain the kids in your community and cant afford anything - you use yourself as the joke.

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     hazelnot :yell: (hazelnot@sunbeam.city)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 20:24:20 JST hazelnot :yell:

     in reply to

     @siege oh that's not really it, I think a big part of it was how when I was in like 2nd or 3rd grade my English teacher started talking about how clowns are tragic people who are ostracized from society and forced to perform this character who has to be silly all the time and that just stuck with me and makes me uncomfortable every time I see a clown 💀

     I don't even know if it's true but the idea of it just makes me sad and angry and I don't like thinking about it

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 22:15:56 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     • hazelnot :yell:

     @hazelnot not really, i think if you dig down into it we'd probably find that your discomfort and other trans peoples attraction to them likely stems from the same core of unease and reflection

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     hazelnot :yell: (hazelnot@sunbeam.city)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 22:15:57 JST hazelnot :yell:

     in reply to

     @siege makes sense and I guess does explain why some trans people like them but I just feel bad when I think about them, guess it's also a reminder of how privileged I am compared to others (including (especially?) other trans people) while still being unable to really do anything to help others so I just end up avoiding thinking about it if I can help it >.>

     Probably makes me kind of a piece of shit but it's easier than getting all my shit together and/or just constantly thinking about The Bad Shit