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Alecs Ștefănescu [38c3]
Just finished playing Citizen Sleeper. If you haven't played it already, I recommend it. I think it took me 5-6 hours to finish it.
I want to mention something about this game that struck a chord, but I'll put all of it under content warnings, because it refers to some of the final quests in the game.
(1/5)
Alecs Ștefănescu [38c3]
The Sleeper (your character) is unlike any character in the game. They never focus on a goal for themselves.
Their goals, their ideology emerge from how you decide to play through quests, and which quests you decide to pursue to the end.
The Sleeper is a non-human, surrounded by both humans and non-humans, all of whom have a personal narrative. Whereas the Sleeper, the playable character, feels more like a secondary character in everyone else's story.
(2/5)
Alecs Ștefănescu [38c3]
One of the final quests in the game gives you the option to leave humanity behind and join a non-human community of beings. This involves leeaving your physical body behind.
All through the game, the Sleeper describes themselves as uncomfortable in their body. They simulate embodiment by eating and drinking. They are sometimes grateful for being able to feel physical stimuli. But their body is a cage.
An obvious choice. Leave the body behind. Live freely.
(3/5)
Alecs Ștefănescu [38c3]
I chose to go back to my physical body.
(I haven't played the game past this point, even though I know there is extra content)
I still think about this decision. Ever though the experience of role-playing as this alienated Sleeper felt very familiar, I nonetheless returned to the "Hell" of the physical body.
I rumminate about why leaving the body behind felt so unappealing. I still think about this fantasy opportunity, hours after turning the game off.
(4/5)
Alecs Ștefănescu [38c3]
The radical, maximalist freedom of the disembodied non-beings and the Garderner felt... too close to a toxic type of "freedom". It had no restrictions, and, thus, it felt void of meaning.
No constrains. No Big Other. No sacrifice, no pain.
The other detail was that the community I could have escaped into lacked an identity. No principles. No common struggle.
Freedom without meaning or meaningful suffering without end?
I love that the game got me to pick one.
Alecs Ștefănescu [38c3]
@rastilin would you care to share in a DM? i am really curious
rastilin
That's where I stopped too. None of the endings of citizen sleeper are particularly satisfying though.
My problem with the gardener ending is that there wasn't anything to *do*, no next step. You're basically stuck there, with no one outside knowing where you are and no way out. Plus, the fact that the gardener doesn't think to leave the choice open makes me think they wouldn't be especially thoughtful and pleasant company for the rest of eternity.
There's another big problem but that would be going into spoiler territory.
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