Esther Payne :bisexual_flag:
I grew up with an unusual example of masculinity.
My Dad cooked and cleaned. He sewed and repaired clothing. When I wanted to talk about my feelings he was always the person I talked to instead of my mother.
He taught me to bake.
He kept his nails tidy.
So when people meet him for the first time, they are a bit surprised at seeing a short man with a bushy beard.
But he's always tried to protect me. Including when I was stalked. Just by checking in on me.
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@onepict It’s a weakness to be so terrified of someone seeing your real emotions that you hide them, perhaps even from yourself.
Esther Payne :bisexual_flag:
It's perfectly masculine to cook and clean.
It's masculine to bake and ice fairy cakes.
It's masculine to enjoy embroidery.
It's also masculine to talk about your feelings and cry. Seriously have a cry. Cry for as long as you need to.
It's not a weakness to show your feelings.
Esther Payne :bisexual_flag:
That's true masculinity. Not Zuckerbergs fear driven idea of being a UFC fighter. Or his non consent based objectification of women.
My father endured poverty to keep me safe and to protect my mental health.
My father is strong.
People like Mark Zuckerberg wouldn't be able to cope with what we endured. He's rich enough for it never to touch him.
Performance of hyper masculine hobbies shows that weakness.
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@onepict Side note: we did all of those things in Navy boot camp, which was largely about teaching you to take care of yourself and your stuff.
Cooking, cleaning, and good personal hygiene is literally what they teach people going to war, those wussies.
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@onepict That’s beautiful.
And it’s also radical to do what’s good right, even when the ignoranti are calling it weakness.
Esther Payne :bisexual_flag:
@tek I think it is a radical act to be brave enough to show your feelings and be a caretaker of the next generation.
To show compassion and not force.
It's a radical act to acknowledge you need help and to be open about mental health.
When my friends came to visit there was always a place at our dinner table for them.
Jay Baker
@onepict @tek This! I've been reading some of Shuli Branson's writings on the framing of certain work as degrading (to the extent that we hope machines will carry it out for us), and how we can also reframe a lot of work - especially in a truly free, anarchistic society - as "care."
Esther Payne :bisexual_flag:
@tek I think there's real fear there.
Partly from not knowing what is involved. But also from a fear that if they know they'd have to do the work.
They see the work as degrading, which tells you everything you need to know.
Jay Baker
@rania_papasozomenou @onepict @tek I think that specifically was from Practical Anarchism: A Guide for Daily Life.
Rania Papasozomenou
@MediaActivist @onepict @tek I would love to read on Branson's idea on framing work as degrading. Do you have any readings you recommend I can start from?
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