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   Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw: (catsalad@infosec.exchange)'s status on Wednesday, 18-Dec-2024 19:11:28 JST Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw:

   Remembering the time I was contracted as a security consultant in 2002-ish to review network security, help with documention, and to harden company systems, when I was mansplained about... (wait for it)... security.

   So I was sitting at my desk writing documentation in the very open office, when one of the programmers, I guess trying to brag or impress me, sits on the edge of my desk and says, "So, you know, I'm a hacker."

   Me, who is loves all things hacking and security related, replies, "Really? That's awesome!"

   Him: "Yeah, so a computer hacker is someone who can [blah blah] and ..."

   I quickly discover that he has zero clue I am the solo security consultant working at the place, and that I'm an actual hacker.

   Me (thinking to myself): Okay, well everyone starts somewhere, and it looks like he the caught the hacker bug— Wait, is he... now explaining what a network is to me?

   🧵

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     Rich Felker (dalias@hachyderm.io)'s status on Wednesday, 18-Dec-2024 19:39:50 JST Rich Felker

     in reply to

     • R.L. LE

     @catsalad @herrLorenz Just because he was planning on using it in a pickup line. 🙃

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     Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw: (catsalad@infosec.exchange)'s status on Wednesday, 18-Dec-2024 19:39:51 JST Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw:

     in reply to

     • R.L. LE

     @herrLorenz No, I didn't. But to give him credit, he did know about Back Orifice!

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     Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw: (catsalad@infosec.exchange)'s status on Wednesday, 18-Dec-2024 19:39:53 JST Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw:

     in reply to

     Cut to my sister-in-law walking by with 10 different expressions on her face, from disbelief to humor, when she realized that our coworker (and a personal friend of hers) was mansplaining the definition of networking and computer security to me.

     Realizing he is blissfully unaware that I touch computers on the daily, I decide to try an give him a subtle out.

     So I slowly reach for my freshly bought Official (ISC)² Guide to the CISSP® CBK® book that was *checks notes* sitting between us on the desk next to my O'Riley books.

     I open it to the section titled "Domain 2: Telecommunications and Network Security" and continue to nod at his explanations.

     You might have guessed it, but he did not notice.

     🧵

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     Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw: (catsalad@infosec.exchange)'s status on Wednesday, 18-Dec-2024 19:39:53 JST Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw:

     in reply to

     This coworker was a talker, and it was close to lunch anyway, so I figured I would listen for a bit while asking questions.

     At this point, my SIL has apparently spread word of events currently unfolding, so now the entire office of like 17 people has gathered in the main work area trying to look busy while listening.

     Unfortunately, for him anyway, I found out he also like make things up when he doesn't know something, and it did not take long at all to reach that knowledge threshold.

     I just let him keep talk without correcting him or anything.

     The office giggling increases, and eventually he starts to notice that something is going on, but he just can't quite put his finger on. 🤔

     I can't even remember what the last thing he was talking about, but when apparently I replied with, "Oh, is that right?", that was too much for my other coworkers to handle.

     They all burst out laughing so hard.

     My sister-in-law, with tears in her eyes, puts her hand on his shoulder and explains that I'm the basically the security department here, before mention getting lunch at the local diner.

     Poor dude... Lol

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     R.L. LE (herrlorenz@chaos.social)'s status on Wednesday, 18-Dec-2024 19:39:53 JST R.L. LE

     in reply to

     @catsalad Thanks for sharing. 😌
     When noticing his confabulation tendency, did you consider asking him if he (, too), had an awesome handle, like Neo, or ZeroCool, and which of the letters he cleverly put into leet...

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     Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw: (catsalad@infosec.exchange)'s status on Wednesday, 18-Dec-2024 21:25:41 JST Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :paw:⁠:paw:

     in reply to

     You know, now that I think about it, this is also when I acquired my Cat moniker.

     Whenever my friends talked about this story afterwards, they would always mention how I was toying with this dude like a cat.

     Could have put the prey out of its misery at any time, but I just kept bapping it gently.

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     overflo 🐿️ (overflo@23.social)'s status on Friday, 27-Dec-2024 12:51:14 JST overflo 🐿️

     in reply to

     • aeva

     @aeva @catsalad

     Estradiol?

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     aeva (aeva@mastodon.gamedev.place)'s status on Friday, 27-Dec-2024 12:51:15 JST aeva

     in reply to

     @catsalad they should make a pheromone spray or something one can spritz on mansplainers to gently break them out of their reverie and make them serenely wander off

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