Danielle Foré
I’ve been trying to figure out what my theme is for 2023 and I think I got it. 2023’s theme is, “Step 1: Be Attractive”.
2022’s theme was self love and I found that and it’s awesome. I made so much progress on transitioning and my mental and physical health and I started a lot of new things. This year I want to build on working towards my idealized self with three big ideas:
* Have more fun
* Explore my style
* Get in the best shape of my life
Danielle Foré
I keep thinking about what my goals are for 2024 and all I can think about is:
Danielle Foré
I had this really ambitious goal of getting in the best shape of my life this year and I was so close to achieving my weight goals but surgery really set me back here and I gained a lot of weight afterwards. I think a big part of this was hormones being readjusted, but I also got into some poor eating and exercise habits during my recovery. I am within 0.1lbs of where I started last year, so I did not achieve the goal I had in mind.
Danielle Foré
I did bounce back after surgery though and set my longest ever move streak of 204 days! I was really dedicated to fitness this year and did lots of walking, cycling, kickboxing, yoga, weight training, completed a couple of fitness challenges, and I think redefined for myself my ideas about fitness and feeling good in my body. I’ve also spent more time working on my relationship with food and confronting disordered eating patterns and shame around food. So I do feel accomplished
Danielle Foré
I think my major takeaway from 2023 has been accepting change, readjusting my expectations, and taking stock of the good things. Lots of things did not go according to plan. I didn’t do a lot of what I set out to do. But there are so many things that I did get to do and learn and I have so much to be proud of and happy about. And ultimately I feel fulfilled in my theme of being a person that I think is attractive. More confident, dedicated and capable, and feeling more at home in my body
Danielle Foré
That said, I did start dating again this year. I’ve met some great people and forged some connections that meant a lot to me. I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I now expect from relationships. I did host two sapphic events this year and attended a couple local events. I tried speed dating for the first time ever. I showed up for friends in crisis and they showed up for me as well. We had the big friend group go to pride. And I attempted with mixed success to host my favorite holidays
Danielle Foré
With another major surgery planned for next year, I think I just have to cut myself slack on this idea and focus on doing what I’m capable of and not hyperfocusing on trying to hang on to previous ideas or nostalgia. I definitely didn’t do what I set out to do with this idea this year, but I did do a lot of other things that I enjoyed and can be proud of. 2025 might be more of the year of socialization and for now we might need to be working more on acceptance
Danielle Foré
I feel like I accomplished the most this year with exploring my style. I bought a lot of clothes, found a lot of my favorite makeup products, got way better at makeup, dyed my hair a color I’m in love with and got a haircut I really like, got two tattoos, got a lot more jewelry. This was a big year for style for me and I’m super happy about it. I feel way more confident and attractive and capable of expressing myself this year than last year
Danielle Foré
A huge part of that is also physical body changes especially with my orchi. Clothes are fitting a lot better, especially wearing pants higher on my waist, and I’m much more confident wearing things like leggings. It’s very hard to really explore fashion when your body doesn’t fit and seeing how much that has changed for me this year I’m really looking forward to next year and seeing how continuing fat redistribution opens up more options for me
Danielle Foré
Something I’ve been diving into a lot more recently is my anxiety and trying to heal my attachment wounds. Recognizing cognitive distortions, being more okay sitting in discomfort, being more mindful. This is such a work in progress but I feel like I have a better idea of where I’m at and where I need to go. My therapist told me that she’s noticed more clarity in my thinking so I’m proud of that progress. I think doing this work is a huge part of having the kinds of relationships I want in life
Danielle Foré
I think it’s close enough to the end of the year to kind of review/wrap up and start thinking about my themes and goals for next year. So to recap my theme was “Be Attractive” and my big ideas were:
* “Have more fun”
* “Explore my style”
* “Get in the best shape of my life”
Tbh I feel like the only one of these that was accomplished in any meaningful way was “explore my style” lol. This year did not go anything like I expected. But I still accomplished a lot of other things!
Danielle Foré
I felt like last year dysphoria really made me withdrawn and I wanted to make a point this year to be more social. Unfortunately electrolysis became my new big problem and it was so bad that I was pretty depressed and even borderline suicidal at one point over it. Facial hair continues to be an enemy even 2 years into my transition. I didn’t spend any significant time playing darts or disc golf this year or even really going to trivia. I’ve been fairly disconnected socially.
Danielle Foré
I have continued to refine and expand my wardrobe and I think I’m still struggling a bit with finding summer styles I like. I’m still pretty self conscious about showing my upper body too much. But I have worn a lot more tops with thin straps etc, so we’re getting there! Something I feel like I have dialed in a lot more is which makeup products I like and I’ve been wearing more makeup out. Especially discovering tinted chapstick has been lovely and concealer sponges.
Danielle Foré
I also wanted to have more fun, go on more adventures, do more things for myself. And I’m not sure how I feel about this one. I have felt more confident to do things on my own, but I’m still fairly indoorsy. I wanted to play more disc golf and darts and I haven’t really done that haha. But I have been cooking way more and having a ton of fun with that. I also got my second tattoo which I love and have been making more time to play my guitar. So maybe this is more hobbies focused for me?
Danielle Foré
I had my orchi earlier this year and I’m really happy to say that this has had a major impact on my bottom dysphoria and I’ve felt a lot more comfortable in my clothing. I also started bottom laser and have taken a number of steps towards vaginoplasty. At this rate, I should be able to have that next year. I’ve also started using tucking tape more often and I feel like that’s really improved my confidence. So I feel like I’ve done things to address this now and I have things to look forward to.
Danielle Foré
At the beginning of the year I really wanted to focus on getting in shape, and a big part of that for me was about losing weight. I was on really good track with that but after my surgery I gained a bunch of weight back and I’ve been kind of stalled out on it. Part of this is because my estrogen levels were higher than my target, but it’s also just hard to get back into things when taking time off. But I’ve stayed consistent with exercising—my current move ring streak is 146 days!
Danielle Foré
While I do want to still lose weight again, I think I also discovered that by gaining weight I actually added more to the shape that I want out of my body. So I’ve been trying to reframe my idea of getting in shape to focus more on being capable, confident, feeling like I look good, etc and not be so numbers focused. I still have a lot of work to do on my relationship with food and eating and I think that’s a bigger challenge to focus on
Danielle Foré
# Get In The Best Shape of My Life
This has been more of a long term goal but I think I’m positioned to complete it or get very close to completing it this year. I’m only 5lbs away from my mid-20s weight from 2015. I want to stay consistently working out, eating healthy, and have a body that makes me feel confident and comfortable
Danielle Foré
Speaking of, if any other Apple Fitness+ users want to join in, I’m doing the 30 day core challenge to start the year: https://fitness.apple.com/us/studio-collection/30-day-core-challenge/1596515943
Danielle Foré
We’re more than halfway through the year and I wanted to check on my yearly theme! I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress in some areas, stalled out in other areas, and found new things that I am working on. One of the things I did early on was to expand a bit on my vision for my ideal life, the things I’m struggling with and some smaller more specific ideas about how to fulfill my theme. Specifically I was really pre-occupied with bottom dysphoria, voice training struggles, and relationships
Danielle Foré
# Have More Fun
I spent a lot of last year battling dysphoria, especially facial hair dysphoria. I stopped going out and doing a lot of things I enjoyed. This year I want to make more space for my hobbies and remind myself to have more fun.
# Explore My Style
Kind of recycling this from last year, but this feels started not finished. I want to get outside of my comfort zone, do things I’m not sure I could pull off, and things I always wished I could
GNU social JP is a social network, courtesy of GNU social JP管理人. It runs on GNU social, version 2.0.2-dev, available under the GNU Affero General Public License.
All GNU social JP content and data are available under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license.