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Allowing poasts more than 140 characters was a mistake
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Every word, bro
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@NoDoxGregBrady @DonLegaracci *deep breath*
AKSHUALLY IT IS FUNNY THAT YOU MENTION MARGARINE I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT THE APPEAL IS WE HAVE AN OLD TIMEY RECIPE FOR COOKIES HERE THAT CALLS FOR MARGARINE MAYBE THE FATS BREAK DOWN DIFFERENT WHEN THE DOUGH IS BAKING OR MAYBE IT IS JUST FOR HOUSEWIVES THAT ARE TOO ASHAMED TO ADMIT THEY ARE COOKING WITH GLORIFIED MACHINE LUBRICANT SPEAKING OF HOUSEWIVES I WONDER IF THE ETYMOLOGY OF MARGARINE COMES FROM MARGARET OR MARJORIE LIKE THE GUY WHO MADE IT WAS GOING THROUGH A BITTER DIVORCE AND SAID I WANT THE ENTIRE CULINARY WORLD TO REMEMBER MY WIFE IS A FAKE BITCH THAT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY BUT MY BET IS THAT ITS JUST FRENCH NOWADAYS YOU GO TO THE BUTTER AISLE AND THERES FIFTY DIFFERENT WAYS TO SAY MARGARINE WITHOUT CALLING IT THAT THEY SAY VEGETABLE OIL SPREAD OR BUTTER SUBSTITUTE BUT THE TABLES HAVE REALLY TURNED ON MARGARINE'S PUBLIC IMAGE I GUESS DOCTORS ARENT REALLY PUSHING IT ANYMORE AFTER DECADES OF CLAIMING THAT SYNTHETIC FAT WAS BETTER FOR YOU THAN WHAT COMES NATURALLY FROM ANIMAL PRODUCTS BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF YOUR POAST I THINK A BETTER JOKE WOULD HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT GRAMMER SCHOOL TEACHES YOU HOW TO TALK LIKE FRASIER REMEMBER THAT SHOW THEY HAD FUNNY ACCENTS WHICH ALMOST SOUNDED BRITISH BUT THEY WERENT BECAUSE THEY WERE JUST TRYING TO MAKE THEM SOUND POSH BUT IF YOU ASK AN AMERICAN TO TALK LIKE A BRIT THEY WILL ALWAYS USE A POSH ACCENT RATHER THAN COCKNEY OR ANYTHING FROM MANCHESTER OR LIVERPOOL DID YOU KNOW THAT THE AMERICAN VERSION OF ENGLISH MIGHT HAVE BEEN WHAT THE UPPER CLASS AND URBAN ONES SPOKE DURING THE SIXTEEN HUNDREDS IT MAKES SENSE WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT IT WAS NOT LABORERS BOOKING TRIPS TO AMERICA BUT RATHER RELIGIOUS EXILES AND OTHER MIDDLE TO UPPER CLASS OUTCASTS AND THEN THEY HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY WE ARE NOT SPEAKING ENGLISH PROPERLY WHEN THEY ARE THE ONES USING THE UNSOPHISTICATED WORDS I JUST THINK A LOT OF THEIR WORDS ARE SILLY AND HAVE NO PURPOSE LIKE WHAT EVEN IS A LORRY IS THAT THE SHORTENED VERSION OF THE GUY'S NAME WHO BROUGHT TRUCKS TO ENGLAND OVER HERE IT IS JUST THE NAME OF A jew THAT MAKES SHITTY SITCOMS AND REALLY HE IS JUST A CONTEMPORARY VERSION OF NORMAL LEAR DUMBING DOWN TELEVISION AND WEAVING POLITICAL COMMENTARY INTO SHOWS WHICH APPEAL TO THE PUBLIC'S LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR LIKE YOUNG SHELDON MAKES AUTISM SEEM LIKE A QUIRKY STATUS SYMBOL INSTEAD OF SOMEONE WHO WILL SHOOT YOU IF YOU INITIATE ANY PERSONAL CONTACT WITH THEM I HAVE NEVER SEEN AN EPISODE OF IT BUT I BET THEY NEVER TALK ABOUT TRAINS THAT IS THE BEST PART OF BEING AUTISTIC SINCE YOU CAN HYPERFOCUS ON SMALL DETAILS AND ARE AWESTRUCK BY THE FEATS OF MODERN ENGINEERING REALLY IF YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PARENTS THAT PUTS THE GAY JIGSAW PIECE ON THE BACK OF YOUR CAR JUST BECAUSE YOUR CHILD IS UNDERSTIMULATED LOOKING AT THEIR IPAD FOR SIX HOURS A DAY THAT CHILD SHOULD BE FAST TRACKED INTO THE LOCOMOTIVE INDUSTRY I THINK IT WOULD BE REALLY NEAT TO SEE THE ENTIRE COUNTRY WHILE CONDUCTING A VEHICLE WHICH DRIVES ITSELF THOUGH I AM SURE I AM SIMPLIFYING THE MECHANISMS OF BEING A CONDUCTOR SINCE THEY GET PAID VERY WELL EVEN YARDWORKERS GET SURPRISINGLY GOOD WAGES COMPARED TO OTHER ENTRY-LEVEL BLUE COLLAR INDUSTRIES AND I AM SURE THAT AUTIST-ADJACENT PLACES LIKE TRAINYARDS ARE NOT FULL OF IMMIGRANT SCAB LABOR LIKE EVERYWHERE ELSE BUT ANYWAYS I THINK AT YOUR GRAMMAR SCHOOL YOU WERE CHURNING CREAM BECAUSE THERE WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH MILKFAT IN WHOLE MILK TO CREATE THE RIGHT CONSISTENCY DID YOU KNOW THAT WHOLE MILK IS ONLY FOUR PERCENT MILK FAT CALLING THE MIDDLE STUFF TWO PERCENT MAKES IT SOUND WAY HEALTHIER TO THE AMERICAN CONSUMER BUT THAT DOES NOT TAKE MUCH SEEING AS A&W TRIED TO RELEASE A THIRD POUND BURGER TO OUTCLASS MCDONALDS YET AMERICANS FLOCKED TO MCDONALDS BECAUSE THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND FRACTIONS WELL I DO NOT THINK YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO REALISTICALLY CHURN WHOLE MILK INTO BUTTER BECAUSE THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH FAT YOU WOULD JUST BE SLOSHING A GLASS OF MILK AROUND AND THE SOLIDS YOU WOULD GET WOULD BE CURDLING DUE TO THE FACT IT IS APPROACHING ROOM TEMPERATURE AND BEING AGITATED THAT WOULD NOT BE VERY GOOD BUTTER AT ALL IN FACT IT WOULD BE WORSE THAN MARGARINE IS PARKAY JUST MARGARINE FOR PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE ABOVE FAKE FOOD I USED TO LIKE THAT SPRAY BUTTER STUFF BACK IN THE DAY BUT I COULD ALWAYS TELL IT WAS NOT BUTTER DESPITE THE BRANDING SAYING OTHERWISE THOUGH THAT WAS PART OF THE APPEAL OF IT AS A CHILD I GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT ON MY FOOD THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN ROOM TEMPERATURE BUTTER THAT HAS BEEN SITTING ON ONE OF THOSE FANCY CHINA TRAYS MY GRANDPARENTS ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE I KNOW THAT WOULD KEEP THAT STUFF OUT AND IT MADE THE MOST BASIC ROLLS TASTE AMAZING BUT PEOPLE WILL LECTURE YOU ABOUT WHETHER THAT BUTTER IS SAFE WHILE EATING BEYOND MEAT I HAVE NEVER SMELLED THAT STUFF COOKING BUT PEOPLE SAY IT SMELLS LIKE AN INDUSTRIAL BYPRODUCT AND OOZES WEIRD GOOP WHILE IT IS HEATING UP SPEAKING OF INDUSTRIAL BYPRODUCT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT STUFF CALLED MARGARINE
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@Eleutheria2 @DonLegaracci Holey Cheese, you actually read that!
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@DonLegaracci NO YOU ARE WRONG AND NOW LET ME EXPLAIN WHY FIRSTLY I WILL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE AND TO EXPLAIN THE EXAMPLE I WILL START BY TELLING YOU ABOUT MY OWN PAST WHICH STARTED A LONG TIME AGO HAHA WHEN I WAS A CHILD YOU SEE WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WENT TO A SCHOOL IT WAS A NORMAL SCHOOL WHICH WE CALLED A GRAMMAR SCHOOL BACK THEN WHICH WOULD NOT BE THE SAME THING AS A GRAMMER SCHOOL WHICH WOULD BE A SCHOOL FOR OLD WOMEN HAHA AND I WENT TO A KINDERGARTEN DID YOU KNOW THAT KINDERGARTEN JUST MEANS CHILDRENS GARDEN I DID NOT KNOW THAT BEFORE I WONDER WHY THEY CALLED IT A GARDEN IS IT BECAUSE THEY GROWN CHILDREN THERE LIKE SOME PEOPLE GROWN VEGETABLES IN THEIR LITTLE HOME GARDENS OH I GET IT IT IS BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE YOU START TO GROW THE LITTLE CHILDRENS MINDS TO MAKE THEM INTO GOOD LITTLE PEOPLE I HAD A VERY NICE KINDERGARTEN TEACHER AND SHE TAUGHT ME THE LETTERS IN MY NAME AND WE HAD TO STAND UP IN FRONT OF THE CLASS AND TELL EVERYONE WHAT LETTER OUR NAMES STARTED WITH AND THEN WE WOULD CUT OUT THE FIRST LETTER OF OUR NAME AND PASTE IT ONTO A PIECE OF PAPER WITH PASTE BUT ONE KID DID NOT DO THAT BECAUSE HE ATE ALL OF HIS PASTE I WONDER WHAT THEY MADE THE PASTE OUT OF IT WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE FLOUR AND WATER AND THAT IS WHY HE THOUGHT HE COULD EAT IT WHICH HE SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE BECAUSE THEN HE COULD NOT PASTE THE FIRST LETTER OF HIS NAME ONTO THE PIECE OF PAPER NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT I WONDER IF THAT PASTE COULD HAVE BEEN COOKED TO MAKE A BIG CRACKER WE ATE CRACKERS IN KINDERGARTEN WITH BUTTER WE MADE THE BUTTER OURSELVES IN A LITTLE CHURN THAT THE TEACHER BROUGHT IN AND THEN WE PUT SOME CREAM OR MILK IN I DO NOT KNOW WHICH AND THEN WE DID THE THING WITH THE CHURN AND IT TOOK A VERY LONG TIME AND I WAS TIRED FROM HAVING TO DO IT BUT WHEN WE WERE DONE WE HAD FRESH BUTTER TO PUT ON OUR CRACKERS AND IT WAS VERY GOOD BUTTER IT DID NOT TASTE LIKE THE BUTTER FROM THE STORE WHICH IS NORMAL BUTTER BUT THIS WAS LIKE WHIPPED BUTTER FROM THE STORE WHICH I THINK IS NOT REAL BUTTER BECAUSE IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE REAL BUTTER AT ALL BUT TASTES LIKE THEY PUT SOMETHING IN IT OR MAYBE THEY START WITH REAL BUTTER AND PUT IT IN SOMETHING THAT FILLS IT WITH AIR OR SOMETHING BECAUSE IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE THE BUTTER FROM THE CHURN WHICH WAS WHIPPED BUTTER BUT INSTEAD IT TASTES LIKE NORMAL STORE BUTTER BUT FULL OF AIR I WONDER IF THEY DO THAT SO YOU CAN SPREAD THE BUTTER ON THE TOAST EASIER WHICH IS WHAT THEY INVENTED MARGERINE FOR WHICH I REMEMBER THEY USED TO TELL US WAS HEALTHIER FOR YOU THAN REAL BUTTER OH BOY WERE THEY WRONG ABOUT THAT I DO NOT BLAME THOSE MEN WHO INVENTED IN WAY BACK WHEN THEY FIRST INVENTED MARGERINE THEY WERE TRYING TO GIVE PEOPLE SOMETHING TO EAT THAT WAS NOT SO EXPENSIVE WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AS WHAT THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE OWN THE FACTORIES THAT MAKE OUR FOOD TODAY ARE DOING THEY DO NOT WANT TO MAKE GOOD FOOD THAT IS LESS EXPENSIVE AT ALL THEY WANT TO MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS POSSIBLE WHICH MEANS THAT THEY WILL SELL ANYTHING AT ALL AND CALL IT FOOD WHICH IS WHY PEOPLE ARE SO FAT AND SICK TODAY BECAUSE THEY ARE EATING THINGS THAT ARE NOT ACTUALLY FOOD AT ALL AND WHICH THEY SHOULD NOT BE EATING BUT THEY ARE EATING IT BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT IT IS SAFE TO EAT BUT IT IS NOT SAFE TO EAT AND THAT IS WHY THEY ARE FAT AND SICK I WONDER IF THE FARMERS WHO ARE GROWING ALL OF THE SOYBEANS AND CORN KNOW THAT THE SOYBEANS AND CORNS THAT THEY ARE GROWING IS BEING USED TO MAKE PEOPLE FAT AND SICK THEY SHOULD STOP GROWING THOSE THINGS BECAUSE THOSE THINGS ARE NOT BEING USED TO MAKE REAL FOOD AT ALL NO THEY ARE BEING USED TO MAKE THE FOOD THAT THE FACTORY OWNERS ARE TELLING EVERYONE IS SAFE TO EAT BUT THEY ARE NOT SAFE TO EAT AND THAT IS WHY EVERYONE IS FAT AND SICK WHICH THEY WOULD NOT BE IF THEY WOULD EAT NORMAL FOOD INSTEAD OF THE STUFF THAT THE FACTORY OWNERS ARE MAKING OUT OF THE SOYBEANS AND CORN WHICH SHOULD NOT BE THE FOUNDATION OF PEOPLES DIETS BECAUSE THOSE THINGS ARE NOT GOOD FOR YOU AT ALL I THINK THE SOYBEANS HAVE SOMETHING IN THEM THAT THEY SAY IS AS GOOD FOR YOU AS THE BUTTER ON THOSE CRACKERS WAS AND THE CORN IS SUPPOSED TO BE AS GOOD FOR YOU AS THE CRACKERS WERE THEY WERE SALTINES BY THE WAY BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN SALTINES WITH BUTTER OR HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP AND SOYBEAN OIL WHICH IS WHAT THEY ARE MAKING OUT OF ALL OF THE CORN AND SOYBEANS AND IT DOES NOT TASTE GOOD AT ALL NOT LIKE THAT OLD FASHIONED WHIPPED BUTTER WE MADE IN THE CHURN BACK WHEN I WAS IN KINDERGARTEN CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO PEOPLE WITH ALL OF THIS STUFF IT IS LIKE SELLING PEOPLE POISON AND CALLING IT FOOD BUT BECAUSE THEY TELL THEM THAT IT IS SAFE TO EAT THEY KEEP BUYING IT EVEN THOUGH IT IS MAKING THEM FAT AND SICK AND OH BY THE WAY IT IS ALSO MAKING PEOPLE DUMB WHICH IS ONE PART OF WHY THAT THING THAT THEY TALK ABOUT THAT RECORDS HOW SMART ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRY ARE AND HOW THEY ARE NOT AS SMART ANYMORE THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE EATING POISON WHICH MAKES THEN FAT AND SICK AND ALSO DUMB IT IS BAD
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@nugger
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All caps should be a fineable offense. Money goes to @matty or @graf .
:5stargeneral:OhBOYImHung™:watabit::verified:
AlabasterBrick ?☠️
Eleutheria2
NoDoxGregBrady
HockeyDoxie
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