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   Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag: (ryanc@infosec.exchange)'s status on Sunday, 28-Jul-2024 19:48:13 JST Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag:

   My driver this morning spontaneously decided that "buddy" was the right thing to call me rather than "ma'am" or "sir", so I'm having a lovely gender today. 😃

   I think I'm going to update the design for the cards I have that explain how to refer to me to include this.

   • Embed this notice
     Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag: (ryanc@infosec.exchange)'s status on Sunday, 28-Jul-2024 22:56:32 JST Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag:

     in reply to

     • Kelvin n0mql EN35ld

     @kelvin0mql In cases where I give the cards out, it's mostly to avoid being call Ms/Mr Castellucci or being called sir/ma'am in situations where I expect to have repeated interactions with people like flight attendants and waitstaff. My stated preference is for people to just call me "Ryan", but I've got my title ("Mx", with pronunciation) on there anyway.

     They've also helped with "you don't look like a 'Ryan'" situations, like the time a flight attendant was questioning my presence in a first class seat. It's a unisex name in the US, but not so much elsewhere.

   • Embed this notice
     Kelvin n0mql EN35ld (kelvin0mql@mastodon.hams.social)'s status on Sunday, 28-Jul-2024 22:56:33 JST Kelvin n0mql EN35ld

     in reply to

     @ryanc
     This is an excellent point. It always seemed to me that listing one’s pronouns as any of she, her, he, him, they, or them, is all about how to refer to someone who’s in the other room. But knowing whether to say sir, ma’am, dude, miss, or buddy has to do with what pronoun to use TO YOU. And I so seldom see that covered.

   • Embed this notice
     Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag: (ryanc@infosec.exchange)'s status on Monday, 29-Jul-2024 08:55:07 JST Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag:

     in reply to

     • Garret Polk (masked)

     @garretpolk eh, the joke about that is "ask a cishet dude how many guys he's fucked", it's not strongly gendered when addressing a group, but "guy" referring to a specific person is very much male coded as is "guys" when referring to some group not being addressed.

     Language is weird.

   • Embed this notice
     Garret Polk (masked) (garretpolk@mastodon.gamedev.place)'s status on Monday, 29-Jul-2024 08:55:09 JST Garret Polk (masked)

     in reply to

     @ryanc I like buddy. "Pal" too. Sounds very New York.

     I kinda wonder if "guy" will fall into the gender neutral space since so many YouTube videos start "Hey guys" and it's intended as gender neutral (even if it's really borrowed from male as default).