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   Ricki Gray Area Witch Tarr (rickitarr@beige.party)'s status on Sunday, 23-Jun-2024 23:03:53 JST Ricki Gray Area Witch Tarr

   Okay, so remember several years ago when there was a whole uproar about trans people using restrooms? Well, it's been back big time on social media, so it got me thinking, now you have to think with me too.

   The scenario being given this time around is:

   A person who in every way appears as a man (dressed as a man, full beard, ect) walks into a Women's Restroom.

   The questions go as follows:

   Do women have a right to be afraid? Is it wrong to be afraid of someone who appears male whether they are or not?

   And here's the thing, I think people should go to the restroom they are most comfortable in, and who the fuck am I to tell anyone how to dress or style themselves. But if someone who appears to be a man walked into a restroom with me, I would be scared, and I hate that it's true, but it's not unwarranted either from personal experience. But I'm not stupid, trans people whether fem or masc, have to be afraid all the time too.

   Now in this situation I always go to facts, there is no group of people who is without baddies, that's just reality, I'm not making any group angels or devils, humanity is just more nuanced than that. But legitimately there's just not really any actual worry about trans people attacking women in bathrooms or cis men dressing as women to attack women in bathrooms. There is unfortunately issues with cis men attacking women in bathrooms, but the rate of this hasn't changed in areas where they've allowed people to use the bathroom of their choice.

   So, is the entire idea of having sexed bathrooms ridiculous anyway? If it were up to me every bathroom stall would a full tiny room, and we could share handwashing stations. I don't want people peaking in the gaps of stalls at me no matter who they are. But what do you all think:

   If you're trans and you are transitioning or aren't in a place in your life where you can be publicly transitioned, how have you handled this? How does this whole thing make you feel?

   If you're non-binary, how do you handle the whole bathroom question?

   What does everyone think about sexed bathrooms in general?

   • Embed this notice
     Man of Sand (sand@mindly.social)'s status on Sunday, 23-Jun-2024 23:03:50 JST Man of Sand

     in reply to

     • Claire, The Ultimate Worrier

     @RickiTarr @waitworry I think we need to be exposed to real naked bodies. Not just as a means to combat unrealistic advertising/marketing but to get comfortable with our own nakedness and mitigating the awkwardness of helping our ageing parents who may need help bathing and using the bathroom in their 70s and 80s. Seems like a ‘western’ problem.

   • Embed this notice
     Ricki Gray Area Witch Tarr (rickitarr@beige.party)'s status on Sunday, 23-Jun-2024 23:03:51 JST Ricki Gray Area Witch Tarr

     in reply to

     • Claire, The Ultimate Worrier

     @waitworry Does anyone really want to get naked in front of everyone, I usually use a stall, but maybe I'm being too self conscious

   • Embed this notice
     Claire, The Ultimate Worrier (waitworry@sakurajima.moe)'s status on Sunday, 23-Jun-2024 23:03:52 JST Claire, The Ultimate Worrier

     in reply to

     @RickiTarr I think the way society does sexed locker rooms is even weirder

     like it is extremely important that you see people naked when you're in there

   • Embed this notice
     Ricki Gray Area Witch Tarr (rickitarr@beige.party)'s status on Sunday, 23-Jun-2024 23:25:21 JST Ricki Gray Area Witch Tarr

     in reply to

     • Man of Sand
     • Claire, The Ultimate Worrier

     @sand @waitworry I understand that idea, and honestly, most nudity doesn't bother me, I don't want to see my brother naked, but whatever. There is unfortunately a whole lot more to it than just people need to get over it, lots of people have trauma related to nudity, for really horrible reasons, and I never want to put someone in a situation that would give them intense anxiety.

   • Embed this notice
     Man of Sand (sand@mindly.social)'s status on Sunday, 23-Jun-2024 23:26:54 JST Man of Sand

     in reply to

     • Claire, The Ultimate Worrier

     @RickiTarr @waitworry I didn’t even think of trauma. I understand what you’re saying a lot better. Thank you for that.