GeePawHill
Said it before, I'll say it again.
If we want better men, and we certainly do, we need to take better care of our boys.
Women can help with this, they really can, but ultimately, it's up to us men who have survived our masculinity, to the extent that we have, to serve.
Do it today. Even just a little.
Mentor a boy or a young man who could use even a *semi*-healthy male figure in their life.
It makes all the difference. It did for me, and I've sought to pay it forward. You can, too.
GeePawHill
(In re: two men, middle 40's, have reached out to me in the same week, one maybe 8 years since last contact, one >15 years since last contact, to say hi and check in with the "old man".
I didn't meet either one until their early 20s. No sage then, and no sage now, but I was an older man who cared about them, and modeled for them, however half-assedly and insufficiently.
You can help someone just by being open to them, I think. You don't have to be a saint, you just have to be a listener.)
GeePawHill
A couple days ago, I got 150 boosts and 300 stars for a mild rant about software development.
I wish I'd get 150 boosts for this OP.
GeePawHill
@holsta I've never thought to ask permission. The two I mentioned were both in there 20s when we became close.
Alex Holst
@GeePawHill I've attempted this multiple times. The parents are oddly never on board.
I won't stop trying, but I don't think it'll happen, either.
GeePawHill
@Millhouse I'm not enraged by this take, but I will make 2 points:
1) Biological determinism, in this case references to "testosterone", is a very uncertain area. We actually have surprisingly little data, once we exclude studies that beg the question.
2) Some sports highlight aggression, but many sports don't. I think maybe it isn't sport, it's how we teach our boys and young men to experience sport.
Millhouse
@GeePawHill Sport is a BIG problem. All that aggressive testosterone as a way of life. And sports teachers in schools yelling at them to do better, in less than equanimous tones.
canleaf08 ⌘ ✅
@GeePawHill no, but some people think that. The last « We want better men » people want men without any feelings and compassion.
GeePawHill
@canleaf Yeah, I'm no MRA type. I get your suspicion. If you see me fucking up, call me on it.
canleaf08 ⌘ ✅
@GeePawHill Homo- and Transphobie does not make better men either.
GeePawHill
@canleaf No, god no, no. I'm sorry, did anything I say suggest that? I sure hope not.
Kit Muse
@GeePawHill One of the biggest things I noticed within myself when I realized I was transmasc was how much "you're just like your father"/"women have to do what men can't"/"Fix men's mistakes"/etc. type messages I picked up from my mom and aunts. They meant well, and a lot of it came from gran raised in an era where women "took care of" their men, but it really affected my gender identity and something I'm working on each and every day.
GeePawHill
@njwatt Same thing I teach in my course: create experiences, not arguments. What experience might you give that kid that would shift him towards the path you desire?
njwatt
@GeePawHill trying to convince a neighborhood boy not to go down the dark masculinity path now. I can do this because it’s in the context of how he interacts with my daughters (they’re all in elementary school)
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