KentuckyConjurer
My son is proposing to his girlfriend this week.
I absolutely adore her.
I'm hoping for a yes!
A family member asked if he'd spoken with her father to ask for her hand in marriage and he said, "That's her hand....not his."
I wanted to cry. I raised a good kid.
Jack Deth
@KentuckyConjurer
I never asked my wife's father either. That 'tradition' just bothers me. It was a point of contention between us, though and I don't have the best relationship with my father-in-law. He's an old school Catholic conservative and we don't see eye to eye on a lot.
KentuckyConjurer
I remember when we got married and my hub asked my father. He had only been back in my life about 1 year after disappearing from it for over 10 years. It really bothered me. My hub was just trying to be respectful (this was the late 90s) but I was quietly upset about it.
Jack Deth
@KentuckyConjurer
See, I knew my wife would be mad if I did that too. She was raised Catholic and intentionally turned away from the church before I met her. The idea of me treating her like property I had to procure from her dad would have gave her second thoughts about marrying me. 🤔
KentuckyConjurer
It's interesting how much of these ideals are ingrained in rural life. Same as fathers sitting at the table with shotg*ns when boys pick up their daughters for school dances. We had that happen to my son his Freshman year. A girl asked him to a dance and when we went to pick her hub, her dad was doing that. My kid was on 14 and it really pissed me off. I sent my son outside and gave her dad an earful. I was just LIVID.
Jack Deth
@KentuckyConjurer
I often hear the phrase, 'Well, that's what my dad did?' and I'm like, oh you mean back when dad's let the women do all the chores and take care of the kids by themselves. Those dads?
I'm not that dad. I changed just as many diapers as my wife and since we both work, I can't imagine leaving her all the chores. I have no love for 'traditions' like that. 🤮
KentuckyConjurer
I was a SAHM for 13 years. When I went back to work, it caused a lot of resentment in our household for the first 2 years. I left for a week on a trip and left hub in charge. He was working plus taking care of the kids and the house (honestly 1 week alone isn't remotely close to knowing the workload won't stop for years), but he had such a hard time that he did start to help more.
It's pretty disgusting. I've raised my boys way better than that.
Jack Deth
@KentuckyConjurer
That's good. Sometimes all it takes is a change of perspective. 😎
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