What are some strategies parents in #neurospicy households are using to help kids with #pda (we prefer Persistent Drive for Autonomy) who want to do chores for an allowance make that routine successful?
(sorry for the hashtags, going for reach here)
What are some strategies parents in #neurospicy households are using to help kids with #pda (we prefer Persistent Drive for Autonomy) who want to do chores for an allowance make that routine successful?
(sorry for the hashtags, going for reach here)
For context: the kid will be 8 soon. We have tried chores in the past & they’ve always been shrugged off. We do a small spend/save/give allowance with no strings attached (UBI anyone?)
The kid asked to start doing chores again because they want more allowance, which, OK, we’re happy to accommodate
They have a lot of resistance to just taking care of their own stuff though: cleaning messes, folding their laundry, etc
@mattly There's a book I'm reading that describes a lot of really effective strategies for supporting kids.
It's called Hold On To Your Kids, by Gabor Mate.
I highly recommend it, and it might give you some really good insights into how to be a supportive parent.
My first thought on reading the introductory chapter was "yes, this was very much my experience growing up, and this is very relatable"
@mattly In that context, I can imagine how sorting their own things in a certain way would be mentally very different than helping maintain a common space or resource.
Like, the chore becomes "tidy the living room" rather than "put your toys away". Even if their toys are what make the room untidy.
@mattly The book I recommended takes an approach of examining broader social systems in how they affect the parent-child relationship, and makes the case that the most important aspect of a healthy relationship is being emotionally present for your kids.
There's a lot more to it than that, and the book lays out its case very effectively in the first chapter.
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