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   eilidh, improved +200% (sidepony@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Friday, 16-Feb-2024 01:42:26 JST eilidh, improved +200%

   in reply to

   • Rayne is really cute as a girl

   @salad_bar_breath Huh, I always thought "egg-hunting culture" was just a long standing meme. I know some scared cis people and eggs who aren't ready might perceive it that way, but are there really a lot of people in the community who take it seriously? I've always assumed there was a general consensus that you can't make James H transition before James H is ready, and any attempt to do so is counterproductive and harmful.

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     Rayne is really cute as a girl (salad_bar_breath@todon.nl)'s status on Friday, 16-Feb-2024 01:42:27 JST Rayne is really cute as a girl

     Last boost: being an AMAB enby does make things incredibly hostile, from the nonbinary community and queer community in general, and obviously from outside people as well.

     I existed in this space before discovering I was transfemme, and in some ways it's objectively more hostile. Like, now I can exist in most spaces and be perceived as a woman, but back then I couldn't, I was just always defaulted to a man, in subtle ways by queer people who used they/them pronouns for me even, and blatant ways by the rest of society.

     Also, tbc, despite that I personally used that nonbinary space to discover that I was indeed a trans woman (though tbc I still am nonbinary), for some people that's just who they are. I really wish some of my fellow transfemmes would stop assuming all of them are eggs**.

     **Though also, to keep the nuance in it, any belief that transfemme people are forcing TME to transition with a thick culture of egg-hunting is silly and transmisogynistic, we transfemmes don't have nearly that much power and this belief system isn't common with all of us. I just think a lot of messy interactions can be avoided if we give people the benefit of the doubt in understanding their own gender identity, and giving them guidance only when solicited.