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1. Embed this notice
   Jeff Atwood (codinghorror@infosec.exchange)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 13:48:14 JST Jeff Atwood

   Men, please read this article and really take it to heart. And I mean me too. https://medium.com/@dave_31730/my-marriage-ended-over-dishes-27c9f147cfc9

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   • Embed this notice
     Jon P (jpp@mastodon.nz)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 13:48:23 JST Jon P

     in reply to

     @codinghorror too late for me sadly, but "micro-abandonment" is spot on

     clacke likes this.
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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 13:48:36 JST clacke

     in reply to
     Without clickwall: scribe.rip/@dave_31730/my-marr…
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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 13:48:37 JST clacke

     in reply to

     Without clickwall: scribe.rip/@dave_31730/my-marr…

     And to anyone already put off by the title: The article is saying "no, it didn't, not really".

     @codinghorror

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     hypolite (hypolite@friendica.mrpetovan.com)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 17:55:41 JST hypolite

     in reply to

     • clacke
     @clacke @codinghorror Even better, read this article on the author's blog: davidflowerstherapy.com/my-mar…
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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 17:55:49 JST clacke

     in reply to

     • TJ Radcliffe
     @tjradcliffe Note that the article says nothing about men, that was @codinghorror 's insert, speaking as a man.
   • Embed this notice
     TJ Radcliffe (tjradcliffe@mastodon.scot)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 17:55:50 JST TJ Radcliffe

     in reply to

     • clacke

     @clacke @codinghorror

     Definitely put off by the title, and the "Men are wrong. Men, fix yourselves!" vibe. If men are broken (many are) there are reasons for reason for it, but on that list of reasons is not "the free and unfettered choices that individual boys and young men made in their lives, acting in their capacity as autonomous libertarian fantasy creatures."

     Anyone blaming men are like folks who said women shouldn't vote because they weren't educated, while refusing to educate women.

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     Todd Alström (toddalstrom@mastodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 17:55:52 JST Todd Alström

     in reply to

     @codinghorror LOL at any man who misses the entire point of the piece and feels attacked for being a man.

     bUT wHaT aBoUT wOMen?!?

     😆

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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 20:45:27 JST clacke

     in reply to

     • TJ Radcliffe

     @tjradcliffe If we cannot say "[as a relationship expert, here is a thing I see many relationships suffer from, and that anyone in a relationship would do well to keep in mind]" without being libertarians that believe in unfettered free will unaffacted by nature or nurture, what can we say about any behaviors at all?

     Is improving one's life at all possible? Can people change?

     I appreciate the advice and I recognize the problem, having been on both sides of it.

     @codinghorror

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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 20:45:28 JST clacke

     in reply to

     • Denys Dmytriyenko

     @denix The article is responding to "dishes" and "laundry" articles and focuses on the underlying issue. It doesn't at any point mention men or women.

     @codinghorror

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     Denys Dmytriyenko (denix@society.oftrolls.com)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Feb-2024 20:45:29 JST Denys Dmytriyenko

     in reply to

     @codinghorror kinda sexist... Both sides of any marriage have issues. And dishes, laundry, etc. are not specifically problematic to "men" only...

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     Avi Rappoport (avirr) (avirr@sfba.social)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Feb-2024 09:53:26 JST Avi Rappoport (avirr)

     in reply to

     @codinghorror The “bids for connection” concept is really helpful and I’ve been paying more attention

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     hypolite (hypolite@friendica.mrpetovan.com)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Feb-2024 09:53:34 JST hypolite

     in reply to

     • Denys Dmytriyenko
     @denix @codinghorror It isn't an all or nothing question, and recognizing house chores are more problematic to men in heterosexual relationships isn't sexist.
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     hypolite (hypolite@friendica.mrpetovan.com)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Feb-2024 11:04:04 JST hypolite

     in reply to

     • clacke
     • TJ Radcliffe
     @tjradcliffe @clacke There isn't something inherently wrong with men except maybe a marginal testosterone-induced greater tendency to aggressivity, but there is something that is instilled in men from a very young age that can and should be unlearned for them to be decent to be around. It isn't just about the parents, it's about society at large and can be summarized by the classic "boys will be boys" response.
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     hypolite (hypolite@friendica.mrpetovan.com)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Feb-2024 11:04:08 JST hypolite

     in reply to

     • clacke
     • TJ Radcliffe
     • chebra
     @tjradcliffe @clacke @chebra What do you think society is made of, exactly? Also are you implying men aren't actually autonomous individuals?
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   • Embed this notice
     TJ Radcliffe (tjradcliffe@mastodon.scot)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Feb-2024 11:04:09 JST TJ Radcliffe

     in reply to

     • clacke
     • hypolite
     • chebra

     @chebra @hypolite @clacke

     Maybe the onus is on society to change. Maybe that's where almost all of our attention should be, instead of on men as these mythical autonomous individuals.

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     chebra (chebra@mstdn.io)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Feb-2024 11:04:10 JST chebra

     in reply to

     • clacke
     • hypolite
     • TJ Radcliffe

     @hypolite
     soo there is nothing "inherently wrong" with men, except the things they inherited from society and parents, which need to be unlearned because they are wrong?

     @clacke @tjradcliffe

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     hypolite (hypolite@friendica.mrpetovan.com)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Feb-2024 11:04:14 JST hypolite

     in reply to

     • TJ Radcliffe

     @tjradcliffe Your suggestion about my political belief is so far off course that it is amusing, but it doesn't change the truth, for society to change, the behavior of individuals composing it needs to change, there's no way around it.

     And in the current case, the onus is mainly on men to improve the overall health of heterosexual relationships in Western society. The people who tend to disagree with this also tend to be on the conservative side of the political spectrum.

     And I don't think I have a fruitful way to engage with a conservative.

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     TJ Radcliffe (tjradcliffe@mastodon.scot)'s status on Wednesday, 14-Feb-2024 11:04:15 JST TJ Radcliffe

     in reply to

     • clacke
     • hypolite
     • chebra

     @hypolite @clacke @chebra

     So just to be clear, you're agreeing with Margaret Thatcher that "there's no such thing as society"? That is: there are only individuals, with no identity beyond what they freely choose for themselves, unconstrained by class or system.

     I don't think I really have a fruitful way to engage with a far right libertarian, and the position "society is nothing but a collection of individuals"--that is, there are no collective effects--is a far right libertarian position.