ContraindiKate
Great news, texted (family member who lives blessedly far away), we’re coming to visit you! We’ve just recovered from COVID so it won’t be a problem, you don't have to worry.
After I had concluded a therapeutic round of facepalming, and had stepped out onto my balcony for a wee shout at the clouds, I spent an unhappy afternoon drafting the following reply and updating our COVID safety protocol sheet.
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Maggie Maybe
@Kjl @ContraindiKate These are hard conversations, but every time I’ve had them I was immediately informed that I would have caught Covid (or something) if I hadn’t had the conversation.
Like making someone wear a mask in my car when they needed a ride, two days later they were sick and found out their best friend had Covid. Because we wore masks in my car I did not catch anything from her when she was pre-symptomatic.
A friend was stopping by for a moment and asked if she could bring her kid, I said sure I’ll just come out and say hi to you guys you don’t have to come in. Then she decided not to bring her kid, I went outside anyway.
The next day her kid woke up sick and tested positive for Covid. If I hadn’t said anything she would’ve been in my apartment the evening before.
I went to visit a friend and I told her I always wear a mask inside with other people so not to take it personally, I sat in her apartment with her and three other people and socialized for more than an hour. We had a great time, the mask was not a problem at all except that I couldn’t sit there and drink water like I do. Anway, two days later she told me she just tested positive for strep throat.
I’ve been shown time and time again that it’s never the wrong decision to be cautious.
Even if it is, worst case is I just wore a mask when it wasn’t necessary, or talked to someone outside instead of on my sofa. But so far the universe keeps showing me that having those difficult conversations is literally saving my life.
noops 🥄🌱
@ContraindiKate I'm in awe of you sending that - I so often chicken out of those conversations. You sound so strong in that email - I'm going to save that for future inspiration. I think sometimes I revert to thinking we're being annoying or damaging the relationship by taking the precautions we're taking, but no, we're not, and like you said we do this *every* day - surely they can put in the effort for a few weeks if they want to see us.
ContraindiKate
However, you can still be an asymptomatic carrier. Asymptomatic carriers can still transmit the virus to others. You can give someone COVID several days before you start to feel sick -- or even if you never feel sick at all.
Having just had COVID and being vaccinated means you yourself are in less danger of dying or being hospitalized from your next infection.
However, you still pose a potential danger to me.
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ContraindiKate
You also still pose a potential danger to any other person with whom you come into contact, regardless of whether you are showing symptoms at the time of contact.
This is why everyone should always wear a well-fitted, FFP2 or N95 mask in any indoor, shared space. You never know when you might be infectious. And you never know who is at the other end of a chain of infection -- but that person likely wants to avoid disability and/or death as much as I do.
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ContraindiKate
Please read this several times. Take the time to think about it for a few days and talk it over together before you respond to me.
We hope that you will put in the effort necessary to visit us while ensuring that I can remain alive and not be further disabled by your visit. We recognize that this is a lot of effort for you -- both logistically and emotionally. But this is our life, every day, all the time. We hope you will feel that visiting us in this life is worth the effort.
11/end
ContraindiKate
The fact that you have had COVID recently does not exempt you from any of these safety measures.
These safety measures are written for people who are vaccinated and/or recovered. The presence in your system of antibodies to a recent variant means that you yourself are less likely to experience acute symptoms of COVID, or any symptoms at all.
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ContraindiKate
The simple reality is that I am clinically vulnerable to viral infections. If you would like to visit us, we need you to incorporate this fact into every aspect of your planning and your behaviour — before you leave, as you are travelling, and while you are here. You must behave in line with this understanding at every moment of your visit, even if it feels weird to you.
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ContraindiKate
Even if wearing a mask doesn't make sense to you or doesn't seem necessary to you, in particular when no one else around you is wearing one. It does not matter how anybody feels about viral infections or the pandemic. What matters is what is factually necessary to protect me. Your behaviour needs to be in line with the science at all times.
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ContraindiKate
The pandemic is still real. The pandemic still ongoing. I am still clinically vulnerable. These facts are not affected by anybody's views or feelings.
[here I inserted updates about my medical situation, including the fact that I’m now taking immune-suppressing medication]
Strict adherence to our COVID safety protocol continues to be an absolute necessity -- not only because of my desire to avoid further disablement, but also because of my desire to live.
I very much want to remain alive.
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ContraindiKate
Would you like to visit with us indoors while you are here? If so, you will need to respect my desire to remain alive by strictly and consistently adhering to the same COVID safety protocol that everyone in our household follows.
Attached are the details of our family’s safety protocol. Let us know if you're willing to follow this protocol.
[here I attached the .pdf with our safety protocol. Send me a message if you want support in making your own.]
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ContraindiKate
With the holidays looming, I wondered if some of my #covidisnotover #wearamask #chronicillness #LongCOVID friends might be able to reuse some of this material to assert your right to avoid (further) chronic illness and/or death.
My email is in the thread below. Feel free to copy and paste if useful. Keep in mind that I am neither doctor nor scientist, just a layperson who enjoys being alive.
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ContraindiKate
Dear [Name]
We're glad to hear that you are considering a visit. It would be nice to see you. Because the COVID-19 pandemic is not over, there are some details you need to think about before planning your trip. Please take your time thinking about this before responding.
All of the safety measures described here are the most logical response to the real-life situation in which I find myself. These safety measures have nothing to do with our feelings or political ideology.
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