Conversation

Notices

1. Embed this notice
   lirazel (lirazel@federatedfandom.net)'s status on Thursday, 30-Nov-2023 05:17:05 JST lirazel

   I think I need to just delete my dating profiles that I made in a fit of optimism earlier this year.

   Because I keep getting messages from dudes (ladies/nbies never send me anything, boo!) who want to have kids or are super Christian or spend most of their time at the gym...

   when I am VERY clear in my profile that I am nerdy (almost) Jewish lady who will never have children, has very leftist politics, and mostly just likes to stay at home and read.

   And it drives me crazy. Either they're not reading the profile (in which case, they are not for me) or they are reading the profile and just don't care (in which case...they're still definitely not for me but I'm very confused about what they're thinking).

   • Embed this notice
     Chicken :cqlgusu: (lookitmychicken@blorbo.social)'s status on Thursday, 30-Nov-2023 05:17:03 JST Chicken :cqlgusu:

     in reply to

     @lirazel
     When a man messages me on FetLife and it's a fairly basic message, I usually respond by asking what specifically on my profile interested them.

     The most common answer is "your smile."

     For fuck's sake.

     There are so many things they could pick instead. All they have to do is mention one single thing that they read on my profile. But reading is hard, apparently.

     I'm thinking of giving up on responding to cishet men entirely. They're either clueless or wanting to cheat. Fuck that.

   • Embed this notice
     lirazel (lirazel@federatedfandom.net)'s status on Thursday, 30-Nov-2023 05:17:04 JST lirazel

     in reply to

     Don't they WANT to have something in common with their partner? I stopped caring about the people who clearly just like or pass based on pictures alone.

     But the ones who take the actual trouble to message me (even though it's mostly just "hey")...why would they do that for someone they have nothing in common with???

   • Embed this notice
     Chicken :cqlgusu: (lookitmychicken@blorbo.social)'s status on Thursday, 30-Nov-2023 05:33:23 JST Chicken :cqlgusu:

     in reply to

     @lirazel
     I don't know if there's a way to say it nicely, or if there's any value in responding.

     I suspect most guys like this just want to get their dicks wet, and bait their own profiles with whatever bullshit they think might get a result.

     They send messages to *everyone*, not expecting a response. No point in reading a profile when only 1% of people are likely to respond.

     It's depressing.

   • Embed this notice
     lirazel (lirazel@federatedfandom.net)'s status on Thursday, 30-Nov-2023 05:33:24 JST lirazel

     in reply to

     • Chicken :cqlgusu:

     @lookitmychicken The assholes are easy to ignore. It's the ones who seem like nice enough people...but who have NOTHING in common with me that I don't know how to reply to. Do I just say, "Look, we clearly have nothing in common"? How do you say that nicely?