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   Drew DeVault (drewdevault@fosstodon.org)'s status on Friday, 24-Nov-2023 04:30:35 JST Drew DeVault

   It's entirely appropriate to give a woman a nice compliment. It's not creepy. What's creepy is when it's weaponized because the speakers wants sex from the recipient.

   "Nice dress!" is something many women would love to hear. What they don't want to hear is "Nice dress!" with the subtext being "Nice dress! I hope this compliment starts a conversation which ends with you removing it!"

   And, yes, it's incredibly obvious when men's compliments have this subtext.

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     Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell: (lanodan@queer.hacktivis.me)'s status on Friday, 24-Nov-2023 04:32:48 JST Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell:

     in reply to
     @drewdevault Heh, meanwhile I think I've mostly complimented dudes on this one, avoiding doing it for women in case of a misunderstanding (I don't want the subtext part).
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     Drew DeVault (drewdevault@fosstodon.org)'s status on Friday, 24-Nov-2023 04:38:26 JST Drew DeVault

     in reply to

     • Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell:

     @lanodan you say "nice dress" to your bros? hell yeah

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     Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell: (lanodan@queer.hacktivis.me)'s status on Friday, 24-Nov-2023 04:41:32 JST Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell:

     in reply to
     @drewdevault Not sure for the dress but pretty much, probably helps that a part of people I know are some variant of queer so I know they're going to like the compliment.
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     Drew DeVault (drewdevault@fosstodon.org)'s status on Friday, 24-Nov-2023 04:50:10 JST Drew DeVault

     in reply to

     • Taxo Rubio:wq

     @taxorubio
     >Also, please don't compliment anyone's eyes trying to start a conversation which ends with them removing them!

     strong agree

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     Taxo Rubio:wq (taxorubio@fosstodon.org)'s status on Friday, 24-Nov-2023 04:50:11 JST Taxo Rubio:wq

     in reply to

     @drewdevault One thing I've learnt for general use is that complimenting something that's that person's choice is much better than complimenting something that isn't. E.g. "your eyes are pretty" is infinitely creepier than "nice haircut". I do the choice one a lot and always cheers people up, even if they didn't feel great about their choice :)

     Also, please don't compliment anyone's eyes trying to start a conversation which ends with them removing them!

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     Eragon (eragon@pl.eragon.re)'s status on Friday, 24-Nov-2023 04:54:50 JST Eragon

     in reply to

     @drewdevault Me… a trans person, too afraid to say " nice dress " because my intended subtext is " I want your dress, I'll be cute in it " but I'm too afraid that the heard subtext is still "I hope this compliment starts a conversation which ends with you removing it!".

     Yup… I still present as a my deadname for way too many people. I'm just not comfortable disclosing my gender to everybody.

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