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   Frankie Saxx (frankiesaxx@social.tchncs.de)'s status on Monday, 21-Aug-2023 16:53:03 JST Frankie Saxx

   my fave socials interact is when Person A says something that could be read several ways

   are they asking for help? looking for sympathy? starting a convo? they just bitching?

   time to put on your psychic beanie and play guess the intent!

   so Person B guesses wrong and does something gauche and stupid like offer a link to the actual information A complained they can't find, allowing A to smugly, self-righteously lay into B for being a "reply guy" and "in their mentions"

   #HowDare #ItsATrap

   • kaia likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     kaia (kaia@brotka.st)'s status on Monday, 21-Aug-2023 17:02:43 JST kaia

     in reply to
     @frankiesaxx
     most people welcome positive interaction. it's safest to ask a question. "does that happen a lot to you?"
     
     people must find solutions themselves and what works for you might not work for themselves. it's usually safe to go "here's what worked for me" instead of "you should try to..." or just posting a link.
   • Embed this notice
     Frankie Saxx (frankiesaxx@social.tchncs.de)'s status on Monday, 21-Aug-2023 17:26:37 JST Frankie Saxx

     in reply to

     • kaia

     @kaia

     agree, most people welcome positive interactions, and I think most people reply with the kind of reply they'd like to recieve based on how they interpreted the intent of the post

     but there's also the problem of how an individual defines 'positive interaction' and for a non-zero number of people, that means replies that aren't just polite or well intentioned, but also comply with a set of specific, unstated parameters

     which is some prime grade mind gamey bullshit

     kaia likes this.
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     kaia (kaia@brotka.st)'s status on Monday, 21-Aug-2023 17:34:35 JST kaia

     in reply to
     @frankiesaxx
     agreed. there's also a subconscious gender and hierarchical divide in giving and receiving advice.
     
     if one has positive intent and formulates a response with care and still receives a negative reply, maybe it's not a person one wants to interact with in the first place.
     
     I only have few people like this in my feed and I marked them red, so I don't accidentally reply something en passant. the rest that I exclusively had bad interactions with I blocked. and that's not a bad thing tbh, that's just like IRL relationships work.
   • Embed this notice
     Frankie Saxx (frankiesaxx@social.tchncs.de)'s status on Monday, 21-Aug-2023 18:01:42 JST Frankie Saxx

     in reply to

     • kaia

     @kaia
     agree, though I think ppl also make a lot of assumptions about other people based on pretty unreliable data like an avatar or a username

     ex: all the anime girl avatars aren't backed by women, even if people might subconsciously respond as if to women

     and I suspect some ppl imagine responses (eg answering a question when they wanted to complain) assuming the other person is responding based on info they know about themself, not what the other person actually believes them to be

     kaia likes this.