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1. Embed this notice
   novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Wednesday, 09-Aug-2023 11:04:09 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

   I hate how children get to have absolutely no privacy or autonomy (bodily or otherwise) in the name of "parental rights" and protecting them. Discord recently introduced a feature that would allow parents to have a dashboard that lets them see who their kids are talking to and when and like — that would have actually made my life horribly worse when I was a teenager and my only friends were kids from a writing server online and I had to keep it secret from my mom because she didn't think online friends were real and that it was unhealthy to have them. It would have actually probably led to the death or homelessness of one of my friends, who found me, and supportive people, and that she was trans, through that writer's discord. Fuck parental controls.

   • Embed this notice
     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Wednesday, 09-Aug-2023 22:40:17 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     Like, to elaborate — children are still humans, and they still deserve, uh, human rights??

     Also, like, the answer to keeping your kid safe on the internet is not insane invasive surveillance that will make them paranoid and secretive and resentful, it's being open and nonjudgmental and accepting with them so they'll want to tell you everything major that happens in their lives themselves, and sitting down and having serious, detailed conversations about how to e.g. spot sexual abuse and grooming. This empowers them.

     But see, parental controls aren't actually used to keep kids safe. They're used to censor and control kids worlds, so that parents can use them like little dolls, trying to mold and shape them through the flow of information to create the person they want instead of letting the kid decide who they are based on full information themselves. Parental controls like these are used not to protect kids, but by parents who don't want them finding out gay people exist, or atheists.

   • Embed this notice
     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 03:35:45 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     • Izzie van de Haaien :cat_is_blob_and_trans:

     @izzie yeah, it's truly awful. People use the justification of keeping their children safe to indulge in the worst imaginable accesses of paranoia and control and it's just truly awful, parents regularly do things to children that we would abhor a government for doing to its citizens or corporation for doing to its workers. And it's not actually even necessary to actually keep children safe at all, so it demonstrates the fact that none of this really exists to perform that function, it exists purely to make that kind of paranoia and control possible. Also, as another commenter so eloquently said, the sort of parents that would actually use invasive parental controls are precisely the kind of parents that you don't want having access to that kind of power, because the sort of parent that is interested in those controls is precisely the sort of parent that is going to be psychologically abusing their kid with how controlling they are.

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     Izzie van de Haaien :cat_is_blob_and_trans: (izzie@transgirl.cafe)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 03:35:53 JST Izzie van de Haaien :cat_is_blob_and_trans:

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social Control over another human being in such a manner should be illegal anyways.
     
     A person I really care about has ridiculously paranoid and controlling parents and they abuse these functions to control his life. They set the age of his profile to a 13 y/o old so they could have more control over what he’s doing / has access to.
     
     I hate oppression. I cannot stand when others control my or someone else’s life.
     
     “They’re meant to keep kids save” - fuck no. I’m sick of people using children as excuses for everything.
     
     Fuck parental controls
     Fuck oppression

   • Embed this notice
     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 03:49:00 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     • Izzie van de Haaien :cat_is_blob_and_trans:

     @izzie because they don't love the child they love the idea of the child — either the idea of having a child or the ideal conceptionist of the child that they want the real one to become and will force him to become by any means necessary. That's how it was for my mother: she didn't truly love me and my brother she loved the idea of being a caring mother until it became too much work and then she became a cold reptilian thing; and she loved the idealized white cishet Christian idealized children she wanted us to be. She loved my academic achievement and my responsibility but she didn't love me.

   • Embed this notice
     Izzie van de Haaien :cat_is_blob_and_trans: (izzie@transgirl.cafe)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 03:49:03 JST Izzie van de Haaien :cat_is_blob_and_trans:

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social I might have to meet his parents soon but I don't know who I'm supposed to ignore the fact that they used to beat the crap out of him.
     
     I don't know how they dare to say that they just want to protect him if all they do is just hurting him on a daily basis.
     
     How do can one say that they love their child and treat them with so much cruelty at the same time? /rt

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     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 05:37:20 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     • Occupy Journey 🐧🇺🇲♒🌎

     @mahaska I already offered a solution in this thread to how you can protect kids from "bad people" without taking away privacy and autonomy. But the fact is, these sorts of parental controls may be justified both in their creation and in their use by a thin excuse of concern over pedophiles but in reality what they are used for is just indoctrination and control of kids so you can manipulate them into being the people you want them to be.

   • Embed this notice
     mikolaj (mikolaj@chaos.social)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 05:38:21 JST mikolaj

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl Can we finally start using the term "adultism" in political discourse in parallel to racism and sexism?

   • Embed this notice
     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 05:51:50 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     Even if invasion of the privacy and autonomy of your child was the only way to guarantee protection for them from online predators, it would still not be an acceptable thing to do, in the same way the United States' surveillance state is not acceptable even if it is the only way to protect us from terrorists.

     The horrors of the misuse of these systems, and the fact that they are much more likely to be misused then used for a good purpose, and will be misused far more often than they actually prevent something bad, and the fact that there existence will incentivize their own misuse, means that they are simply not worth it.

     The insane obsessive paranoid controllingness that invasive parental controls enable in parents, the way it enables parents to cut children off from needed support networks and friends, further indoctrinate, manipulate, and gaslight them by censuring what they can know, and prevent them from having the privacy and space to discover and experiment with things about themselves and their identity; the constant stress and fear that it makes children undergo, because they WILL still engage in behaviors the parents want to block out because those behaviors are necessary and natural, they'll just before to do them under an overwhelming pall of fear — none of this is worth it.

     We should not grant the evil, manipulative, abusive, controlling parents the tools to do this just because there are some parents who may not misuse these tools, just like we should not give politicians certain tools even if some politicians might not misuse them in your happy-go-lucky fantasy of there being such a thing as trustworthy authority.

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     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 07:11:26 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     • Маленькая(нет) Питца🍕

     @sleepy_till_pizza that's why I always make sure to have the worst intentions possible

   • Embed this notice
     Маленькая(нет) Питца🍕 (sleepy_till_pizza@lastfree.space)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 07:11:35 JST Маленькая(нет) Питца🍕

     in reply to
     @anarchopunk_girl "Hell is paved with good intentions"
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     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 07:16:28 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     • ringmaster

     @ringmaster well said. Never let computers do the work of a human being!

   • Embed this notice
     ringmaster (ringmaster@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 10-Aug-2023 07:16:30 JST ringmaster

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl I grew up in the BBS era. My parents had no idea what I was doing or who I was talking to directly, but we’re involved enough in my life to get a feel for my dangers and prepare me for them well. This served me well in life as a whole. I turned out fine without the policing. My own kids turned out fine too. Maybe if there were better parents, or if they didn’t expect a computer (or someone else, generally) to do this work for them, we’d be in a better position?