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1. Embed this notice
   Kit Rhett Aultman (roadriverrail@signs.codes)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 22:52:30 JST Kit Rhett Aultman

   in reply to

   • Oddtail

   @oddtail I think you're on to something, and I think it connects into the whole "but trans people are reinforcing the gender binary" sophistry. Like... any femme thing I do that comes from deep-seated desire or a wish that people read me a certain way gets the "you're enforcing stereotypes" admonishment but what the hell else am I supposed to do? Not have happiness and be read by the world as the man I'm not?

   • Embed this notice
     Oddtail (oddtail@meow.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 22:52:32 JST Oddtail

     in reply to

     4/4

     And it has nothing to do with (overt) transphobia. Not directly.

     If you're cis and you disagree, great! It's nice that you get this not having be AS much of a consideration. I love your reality, but I can't move to that reality with the way I look, with the way my face looks, with how I'm perceived both by strangers and people who know me.

     My (signalled) femininity is not a spherical cow in a vacuum, is what I'm trying to say.

   • Embed this notice
     Oddtail (oddtail@meow.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 22:52:33 JST Oddtail

     in reply to

     3/4

     But I also don't think cis women get the particular set of circumstances that a pre-transition trans woman is. Yes, in an ideal world I wouldn't even look at what is masculine and what is feminine. I'd be me, whatever that means.

     But nobody is just "themselves". My social reality is a product of how people see me. If I project masculinity, I WILL be seen as behaving as a man due to purely visual and physical cues.

   • Embed this notice
     Oddtail (oddtail@meow.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 22:52:34 JST Oddtail

     in reply to

     2/?

     But if I reject femininity as a concept and just act as "me", I will not be read as masculine. I will be read as behaving as a man. Far, FAR more than any cis woman may be.

     And I'm sure that's not exclusively a trans problem. Cis lesbians also have a history of being read as "not actually/fully women". But a trans woman has a special relationship with masculinity.

     And I want to be masculine in a "woman" way. I do.

   • Embed this notice
     Oddtail (oddtail@meow.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 22:52:35 JST Oddtail

     1/?

     I find that cis feminists tend not to realise that the idea that "masculinity and femininity are made up, social concepts" is thinking that is only a luxury a cis person can afford.

     Yes, cis women get a lot of crap for not behaving "feminine". But a cis woman can often behave in masculine ways and be read as, well, a masculine woman. Which is great. Women should get to be masculine and men should get to be feminine. Awesome!