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   Kit Rhett Aultman (roadriverrail@signs.codes)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:31 JST Kit Rhett Aultman

   in reply to

   • Terra: Chaos Lesbian
   • Legally Rylie Extra 🏳️‍⚧️✨

   @Specialist_Being_677 @Terra Boys are definitely a difficult case with me. But every now and then a sweet one squeaks through. And sometimes a beefcake comes along and I just want to sit in his lap. It's keeping my bi card valid.

   • Embed this notice
     Legally Rylie Extra 🏳️‍⚧️✨ (specialist_being_677@hachyderm.io)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:32 JST Legally Rylie Extra 🏳️‍⚧️✨

     in reply to

     • Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     @Terra well when you phrase it like that... Maybe I'm not as bi/pan as I thought...

   • Embed this notice
     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:33 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Holy shit…

     Look friend, this really doesn't feel like it's about me. But okay…

     Enbys are probably the hottest people to me. But here's a weird fact: as they cross further into masc territory, my attraction wanes. Enby femmes are my kryptonite. Way more attracted to them than high femmes…and I'M high femme (in my head at least).

     I've never been with a man, but they honestly gross me out. Like, the smell, the rough skin, the hair, the hardness. Like I can't MAKE myself attracted to that.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:35 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Not "changed" so much as sort of "opened" and "clarified."

     Before, I thought I could understand attraction with men. I thought estrogen might make me more bi, but no. Now I've even tried to be attracted to men and I… I just can't.

     Also, I'm Demisexual, but I worry I would have sex with more women than I want to admit. Like, I still could never do a one-night stand. It's more that women I become close to and love as friends… I suddenly desperately want them to pin me up against a wall 🙀

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:36 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     You know that one wavelength… it's not in the visible spectrum, at least I don't think so… it's that wavelength she's on right after she laughs at something and kind of nervously looks in your eyes, biting her lip just slightly, just before you both realize you're going to kiss?

     That's my favorite. That's the wavelength I want to be on.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:37 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     If we're limiting it to the extremely small set of wavelengths that the human eye can see, probably something in the 500-550nm range is as good as anything. That's right around where my hair is, so I must like it.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:38 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Not what, whom. Billionaires. Cease and distribute the wealth of the billionaires.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:39 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Now that the reality of the world presents itself not as a hell that I'm just expected to survive, but rather as a joyous landscape I'm excited to explore? Pretty well, actually.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:40 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Boringly…I wake up, kiss my wife good morning, and tell her I had the weirdest sex dream.

     I'm Demisexual, so unless it's my wife doing that, or one of, like, the 2-3 women in the world I feel close enough to for physical intimacy, it's never gonna happen.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:41 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Too many.

     Book: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier.

     Weird that a poor, Black Trans kid in the projects would connect with a rich, white woman in a big English mansion…

     But it was the first time I read a book in a woman's voice… one who was scared, felt alone, in a hugely confusing circumstance that she was expected to manage and could not even understand…

     I was Rebecca.

     Author: Octavia Butler. There is just too much to say, but as a Science Fiction lover finally reading myself in a story… wow

   • Embed this notice
     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:43 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Tell us we are anything.

     Like, literally anything. Don't fucking tell me I'm brave, or beautiful, or strong, or accepted, or worthy, or… fucking anything… don't fucking tell me that I am anything…

     Listen… Listen to what Trans people are telling YOU… then figure out what you are NOT doing.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:44 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     My mind goes to "listening." Truly listening. Not trying to figure something out, or fix, or respond, or figure out how it affects you… but to truly listen, and thus understand, and with compassion, accept. There's probably no greater power in the world for love.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:45 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     This depends on whether "sexytimes" is "results driven" or "intimacy driven."

     I had a lifetime of Testosterone driven pressure relief valve. Don't want that to come back.

     But as far as "intimacy driven," (flirting, touching, kissing, teasing, edging…maybe orgasm, maybe not) I think a better question is "would there be a driving reason for any given moment of every day to NOT be sexy?"

     Sexytime as the default unless the situation requires more decorum (And then it's just under the table 😉 )

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:47 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Yes please…

   • Embed this notice
     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:48 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Other than blindfold me, strip me naked, tie me to a bed, and edge me into fucking oblivion?

     Nah…not that I can think of…

     (Yeah, I know that was inappropriate, but y'all are too tame, I had to do it myself 😂)

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:49 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Bread.

     Whatever the rest of the food is, I want there to be good bread.

     Whatever kind of bread it is. Dense bread, moist bread, fluffy bread, cracker bread, flat bread, risen bread, steamed bread, filled bread, flattened out into sheets and filled with spinach and feta bread, dark bread, light bread, airy bread…

     I really, really fucking love bread.

   • Embed this notice
     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:50 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     It is unclear why I am picking, so I will say I would be with Wonder Woman, and I would be Captain Marvel.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:51 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     This question puts people in an unfair position of wanting to be noticed but not being top of mind in this particular moment, rather than another moment when I might list other people, because I'm scatterbrained. So I'll say this:

     One is for heart
     Two is for head
     Three is who always makes my cheeks turn red
     Four is for frame
     Five is a must

     But all are Trans femmes, whom after I lust.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:52 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     That's not fair!

     Honestly? I don't know. I think I'm doing well, then I break down. I think I'm happy and then I end up in a blind rage. I think I'm handling everything, and then I fall apart like a stale hard shell taco.

     I don't know.

     If I focus on finally being able to be a girl, then I'm fine. On all the time I lost, I lose it. How far I've come? Feel good. How far is left? Feel bad. What I have now? Good. What I'll never have? Bad. Where society is? Good. Going? Bad.

     Maybe that's life🤷♀️

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:53 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Just as an additional note… Armor is probably the most powerful song in my life right now.

     It's like Sara baked the entire feminine experience into a single song. I cannot listen to it without crying.

     The pain, the loss, the power, the hope, the strength, the self love and the sisterly love. It's just so fucking powerful that I want to swim it it. I want it to be my femininity.

     And yes, I'm still crying as I write this…

   • Embed this notice
     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:55 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     No one favorite. It's more mood-based. There are various song lyrics, though, that hit me so hard every time I hear them that I cry.

     Sara Bareilles' Armor is a huge one because I came out to myself listening to this song.

     Yes…I'm even crying right now

     "Step three: I see
     The unforgettable, incredible ones who came before me
     Brought poetry, brought science
     Sowed quiet seeds of self-reliance
     Bloom in me, so here I am
     You think I am high and mighty, mister?
     Wait 'til you meet my little sister"

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:56 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Uh… yeah, there is zero port of me who can process the first part of this.

     But as far as books…

     That's a really broad question. Rebecca (A woman, lost and alone) was my first book love. Naked Earth Trilogy is the most incredible take on multi-generational systemic oppression ever written. Dune is magic. Anything by Octavia Butler. The Haunting of Hill House (again, a woman, lost and alone…)

     Generally female centered gothic horror, sci-fi, and fantasy.

     …and as gay as fucking possible.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:57 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     It's complicated.

     I was assigned Orc at birth, but never fit in and always felt lost, alone, and broken. Orcs mostly made fun of me or beat me up for not being Orc enough.

     Late in life I met other Tieflings and realized that was really who I was all along.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:58 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Yes. Every weekend. Family time and yard work.

     Yes, it sounds boring. Because it is boring. Because I'm boring.

     I'm okay with that.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:38:59 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Aww. I genuinely wish I could believe this.

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:39:00 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     *Studiously ignores question as if it never happened.

     (I have trouble conceptualizing this?)

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:39:01 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     in reply to

     Perfect. Amazing. Top notch. And quite glad you didn't ask about "emotionally." 😜

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     Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 11:39:02 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

     It's Friday! Ask me anything! I promise to answer, no matter how silly or inappropriate! Come on, you know you want to 😘😘

     https://ngl.link/terrakestrel