Uh… yeah, there is zero port of me who can process the first part of this.
But as far as books…
That's a really broad question. Rebecca (A woman, lost and alone) was my first book love. Naked Earth Trilogy is the most incredible take on multi-generational systemic oppression ever written. Dune is magic. Anything by Octavia Butler. The Haunting of Hill House (again, a woman, lost and alone…)
Generally female centered gothic horror, sci-fi, and fantasy.
…and as gay as fucking possible.